"Just one more time." I whisper nearly. My voice worn and raspy from the frequent and endless screaming.
The tears no longer falling simply. But carving imprints in my pale cheeks. My fist lifelessly drops to the floor as I loose motivation. Finally giving up on wishing to escape. Wishing to be happy again. Overall giving up on life.
I let my tired eyes come to a close and let out one last stifled sob before falling to mindless sleep.
-
I hide my face in the skirt of my mother's dress. The drunken man before us hurriedly stuffs things into a large bag. Mumbling naughty words under his smelly breath. Eomma just stares in disbelief. Small tears grazing her cheeks. Leaving the collar of her clothing damp.
"What is he doing?" I say quietly. Making sure only her and I can hear it. She wraps her arm around my small shoulders and engulfs my tiny hand in hers. She squeezes it slightly as the man passes by once more. This time entering a new room.
"I don't know baby. But it will be okay. I promise." eomma says. Whispering the last two words. I nod slowly. Moving my gaze around the smll house.
"Little brat. I'll miss you least of all." I scream as he hisses into my ear. The woman beside me yanking my hand. Crouching before pulling me into a hug and holding me tightly.
"Have fun paying for your mistakes you little slut!" He yells slapping my mother in the back of the head. Herself only taking the blow. Sniffing back tears for the sake of my own feelings.
Dragging behind him the bag he slams the door causing a wave of concern and sadness to flood over me.
"Eomma, where is appa going!" I cry out. Only responded to with a small sob and a tight hug. I wrap my hand around the crying woman.
My four year old concious only thinking that he will be back. That eomma is simpy crying because she hurt herself. None of the words appa said sinking in. Mostly because I didn't know what they meant.
"It's okay. Appa will be back soon. He will make it all better." I say innocently. Beginning to play with her hair. Feeling her warm arms hold tighter onto my small body.
The only thing I just wish I wouldn't have had at this age was hope. Maybe if I wouldn't have believed that my father would come back. Or had I not asked my mother everyday whether my beliefs were true or not, maybe she woud still be here.
She would be here to hold me. To tell me stories when I felt upset. Maybe, just maybe. I could be happy just like the others.
-
I gasp erupting from the water. Glancing around to see a white sky and blue water. I stand and step onto the plain ground. Blue flowers sprouting around my feet with each step.
I watch in awe. Skipping around in delight. Forgetting for a moment that I am in some mysterious place.
I suddenly stop in my tracks. Finding the flowers beginning to trail up my legs. Wrapping around my small waist. Pulling me into a sudden grasp of warmth.
One just like my mother's. Reminding me of her gentle touch. That night when she held me close. When I thought that nothing could go wrong. When I was horribly wrong.
The petals soon turn a dark black color. Themselves curling up nd falling gently to the ground. The vines turning to thorns. Those of which I quickly shove to the ground.
Breathing heavily as everything turns dark. The water now a thick magma like substance. The once pure walls and floor of my enviroment now contaminated with tradgedy.
Screams ringing out into the air. I cover my ears. Stumbling backwards as I press my hands tightly against the sides of my head. Crying loudly in an attempt to gain the attention of someone. Though in my lonely world, I doubt it will help.
I fall to my knees. Now bawling as the noise continues. I lie on the cold ground and close my eyes. Wishing souly to fall asleep. To escape the horrifying world around me and slip into one of innocence and not knowing.
Except this time I am already asleep. But living in a nightmare. Fearing that my once beautiful getaway is falling into the deep abyss that has now swallowed my real life.
Eventually the noises fade away. I open my eyes to find myself laying in the dead frosty grass. The sky now a gray color matching the dead ground.
Except the atmosphere now contains streaks of blue and pink. Looking around I notice that I am alone. Just as I am in most of the dreams. Except there is something strange about this one.
"Hello?" I ask loudly. A strong gust of wind brushes past me. Pushing me to the ground. A small chime rings out. Myself glancing back to see a large tree just as before. I stand up. Walking over towards the wounded trunk. Its bark scarce and weak. Atop hang the limbs. But upon the limbs lie the painfully familliar white laces.
"Why are you doing this to me!" I scream. Hoping that for some reason that someone is here with me.
A hand comes to rest on my shoulder. I jump turning around. There stands the boy. His gray hair now a deep black. Himself dressed in winter like clothing. His hand drops to rest at his side and he simply stares at me. A small expression of shock.
"What is your name?" he asks quietly. As if talking loudly will scare me away.
"Jimin." I say even quieter. Surprised that he even heard my voice.
He smiles slightly. Stepping closer to myself. His breath lingering on my face.
"What is yours?" I ask staring into his deep eyes. Those a dark world of their own. Holding more than just simple emotion.
"Yoongi." I grin at his deep voice as he whispers before me. Relaying the name over again in my head.
During this time he grips my wrist carefully. Pulling me forward as he turns and begins running towards something. A small stream. We stand at the base of it. My eyes glazing over him with confusion.
"There. Me, and you. It's nice." Yoongi says hopefully. Causing me to look down. Seeing our reflection there. Then suddenly only mine.
I look up in panic to the spot where the boy once stood. Now only containing my empty promises.
"Please?" I whimper before picking up a broken blue petal lying on the ground. It replacing his place.
"I'm afraid." I say simply before falling into nothingness. My arms flying up as I am surrounded by the plant. Light blue petals filling the dark sky. Making it seem as though it is day.
"I know." The voice says. Dropping a promising flower into my hands.
"I'm ready to let go."
-
A/n : When I write I listen to bts songs because it somehow helps my concentration and helps me write.
I was just listening to a huge playlist of all bts songs and working on this chapter.
As soon as I typed "I'm ready to let go." Let Go started playing.
It scared me so much I fell out of my chair XD
Q: What helps give you inspiration for writing?
A: Tbh anything really. Normally songs or theories for mv's.
But sometimes I will simply just get a random idea in my head. Or even sometimes a sentence will pop into my head and i try to turn it into a plot. Even things that happen in my own life will inspire my writing. Just depends.
