only if you love her

chapter four

"hello..." i hesitentaly answered

"Brooke?" she said in a shaky voice

"What's wrong, Kaira?"

"I've messed up this time, and i need you. i need your help."

i listened to what she had to say but as i pulled into the parking lot i interrupted her whining, "Kaira, i actually have a job and a way to support myself. i have worked very hard to recover from what you did to me and to get where I am. i am finally happy, you aren't gonna take this away from me, not again. never again.." i hung up, took a deep breath, and got out of my car.

i walked in and immediately Rachel started listing off things I needed to know and do while she was gone on vacation this next week, phone call after phone call, page after page, and two trucks came in. i was so overwhelmed by Kaira and work. I felt bad for anyone who was working with me, i probably yelled at everyone at least twice.

finally, after such a long day, it was almost 10:30 so i went back to make the new sale table to go out in the morning. i was tieing ribbon at the request of Rachel when i heard a comforting voice say
"whats up with you?"
i flashed a small smile at Jess and said "nothing, just a long day."

she walked up beside me, leaned on a float, crossed her arms, and said "spill it."
so i explained to her about how Kaira called wanting me to bail her out of trouble once again.
"she's always going to be a herion addict. I can't change that." i said firmly. "I'm so tired of the 'i love you's,' and the 'i miss you's,' because lets be real, does she really care about anyone but herself? no. she doesn't."

after i was done ranting i looked up at her and she had the biggest smile on her face, and i just started laughing.
"why are you laughing?" she asked.

Brooke dial 144, Brooke 144, please.

i glanced over at her, smiled to myself once again and walked into the office to answer the page.

at midnight we closed the store, set the alarms and once again she walked me to my car. "so this girl came in here asking for a job earlier and so i gave her my number and told after she put in the application to let me know. well, she took it the wrong way i guess because she texted me and was being a little too nice."
she showed me the messages and we talked about how she referred to Candice as 'her wife.' and why she felt the way she did about how their relationship was going.
"i just want real love. not forced, ya know?"
her words hit me so much harder than i was hoping for. "yeah, i get it. and one day you'll find it, but first you have to get out of your toxic relationship." she kept trying to justify her staying but she really wasn't even convincing herself. "i know i need to do something, and i will." she promised.

i looked down at my watch "oh shit, Jess! it's 1:14, you probably need to get home to her."

"thank you for spending tonight with me, Brooke. thank you for listening and giving me the best advice you have. i'm really thankful i met you."
we finished talking and i watched her walk away, to make sure she made it to her car.
when i turned my car on "if you met me first" came on and before i knew it tears were falling down my face.

what do i do?

the drive home was what felt like the longest drive of my life. when i finally got there i went inside to find Cait standing at the counter with way too much alcohol sitting there "i don't know what happened or why you're upset but i knew you had a had day so i stopped and got some."

i laughed and we sat down on the couch with drinks in hand. "i've never felt like this before, i've never wanted to be with someone so badly that i don't even care they're in a relationship, i've never been that type of person and do i really wanna start now?"
we watched Netflix, drank way too much, and played Mario Kart until we realized how late it was and we both knew we had adult things to do the next day so we exchanged "good night's" and "i love you's." headed off to bed.