Entangled in

40. Hurt

Jessica's POV

"Yul.."

She lifted her head and stood up as she saw me. We froze at our spots, looking at each other's eyes. I barely recognized her, she lost so much weight. She even has black circles around her eyes.

What happened to you, Yul?

I feel like a bad person thinking that I just kissed another girl a few minutes ago even though I knew that I haven't gotten over Yuri yet. Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? Soo makes me smile but I can't deny that I'm still in love with Yul.

My heart hurts so much seeing her like this. I wanted to run in her arms so bad but I remember what I promised to her mother. My mind went back to the day as Mrs. Kwon made me promise to keep away from Yuri but someone pulled me in to a hug.

"Sica..." Her voice cracked as she hid her face on my neck.

Something warm dropped on my neck. She's crying.

"Why can't you love me?" She said between her sobs "Why can't you love me for who I am? I can be anything for you Sica, but I can't be a man. If you ask for something else, I'll fight for you. I'll do anything"

I could hear thr agony in her voice. It was all lie, Yul. All those things I told you that day was a lie. I don't want a man, it's you I want, my heart is screaming.

"It hurt so much, Sica"

"I'm sorry....." I whispered, my tears staring to flow.

Yuri pulled back and we looked into each other's eyes. The next thing I know is that we kissed. I forgot about my promise, right now my body is responding to her touch. I still love her. It took a while for me to regain control of myself and I pushed her away.

"Stop. I can't...." I pushed her away harder
"Yul, I can't" I repeated my sentence.

She stood there with hurtin her eyes.

"Five years. How can you stop loving me just like that, Sica? What did I do to you?"

"You didn't do anything"

"What have I done wrong?"

"You haven't" My voice trembled

"THEN WHY?!" She was screaming and crying "Why are you hurting me like this?"

"I'm sorry...."

"I love you, you know. I never stopped loving you even after what you did to me. I tried to let go, I tried to hate you, but I love you too much"

I can't look at her, I just stared at the floor.

She grabbed my hand, her eyes met mine. She looks so vulnerable as she said, "I can't live without you. I'm so lost. Help me" I felt like the worst person in the world as I pulled my hand away and said,"I can't......."

Yuri bit her lips and nodded "I understand. Sorry to bother you. I'm sorry that I still love you"

My heart broken into pieces as she left.

I opened my apartment door and cried like a little kid.

I love you, Kwon Yuri.

But I can't love you.

I can't be with you.

Please let me go.

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