31-Day MCSM One Shot Challenge - July Edition 2018

Overwhelmed

Generated prompt of the day: Overwhelmed

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Warning: Author dissatisfaction ahead

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No matter how many times Jesse rinsed her face off with cold water, her eyes looked red and puffy. No matter how many times she tried to smile, it was obvious she had been crying. No matter how many times she tried to forget, memories would return to stab at her broken heart.

"I can't do this." Jesse whispered, staring at her expression in the mirror.

She hated her broken she looked, she hated how hard it was to see that reflection smile.

Jesse turned away, walking back over to her bedroom. Her hair was still an uncombed mess, and she haven't even begun dressing out of her sleepwear. Jesse picked up her phone, looking at the time. She was already late.

Jesse sunk down on her unmade bed, slowly typing a text message.

I'm sorry, not feeling like coming. See you tomorrow.

It was bland and simply, but it got the message across. She hated leaving all the work up to Radar every day, but emotionally she didn't have the strength to go to work.

Jesse phone beeped again. Reluctantly she opened Radar's reply.

Alright, no problem. Everything OK?

Jesse didn't reply, tossing her phone onto the bedside table. She felt so guilty, knowing Radar was probably starting to worry about her. She hadn't shown up to work since the whole catastrophe with the Admin and all. Simply said she wanted to take a break for a few weeks.

Well that break was meant to end two days ago. Now, third day in a row, Jesse had once more messaged Radar to say she still wasn't coming in to work.

She knew he was dying to show her things, and she was probably very behind on...everything. But she couldn't afford to have Radar see her this way.

Skin pale, eyes red, face wet.

Every day it got worse. Completely alone, nobody around. No matter how lonely Jesse got in the past, she always had at least one person she could go to.

Now she had none.

Jesse thought she could get used to waking up to absolute silence day after day, eating dinner alone night after night.

But as the days drifted by, it didn't feel like it was getting better. If anything, it was getting worse.

Jesse lay down on her bed, pulling the covers over herself and shoving her head back into the pillow. Sleep – it's been her only escape. She's spend most days in bed, letting the long, lonely hours drift by.

At first it worked out OK. Jesse was exhausted from the journey to battle Romeo, worn through from nights without any sleep.

But after weeks of just staying in bed as the hours passed, sleeping off the passing minutes, Jesse couldn't do it any more. She was well rested, no desire for sleep. Her mind simply didn't want to.

Nonetheless, after tossing and turning for more than an hour, Jesse was able to fall asleep. A deep, restless sleep.

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A scream echoed through the dark hallways of the empty Order Hall.

Jesse was sitting bolt upright in bed, panting, one hand clutching her chest. Her hair, clothes and sheets were damp with sweet.

Jesse recovered herself after a few minutes, raking her hands through her sweaty hair and glancing around the dark room. Outside it was dark, an indication that she had slept away the entire day.

A suppressed sob broke out of Jesse and she fell back down onto the bed, her nightmare fresh in her mind. Nobody to talk to about it, nobody around to tell her it was OK.

"I can't believe I drove you all away." Jesse whimpered, shoving her face into the pillow, it muffling her cries.

As her sobs died down, Jesse got out of bed. Her limbs were stiff from the long hours of sleeping, her body relieved at moving around.

And without thinking, Jesse started packing. Pushing clothes, food, other necessities and even some first aid items into bags.

She should have made the choice of going after Petra weeks ago. Jesse wasn't going to regret staying in Beacontown any longer.

Whether she'd find her friend or not, she didn't know. Jesse knew she could go to any of her friends, but it felt like an act of betrayal. She let Petra go off on her own, because she 'didn't want to leave Beacontown'. It just felt wrong to now leave Beacontown, when she's already let Petra down. No, Jesse was going to go after her specifically.

Jesse picked up her phone, the last message Radar sent her still looking back at her.

Alright, no problem. Everything OK?

Jesse put the phone back on the bedside table, not intending on taking it with her. It would be useless out there anyway.

She wrote a note, leaving it on top of her phone. It would only be a matter of time before somebody came looking for her, and if they did... well, hopefully they'll see this and stop looking.

And say, as the first sun rays began to peek over the horizon, Jesse stood at Beacontown's gate. She looked over her shoulder at the town, still peaceful in slumber.

"I'm sorry." Jesse whispered as she turned away, now facing the outside world. "But the loneliness... it's just too overwhelming."

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Not. Happy. With. This.

Had this idea for ages. It's actually a small part of a book I plan to do in the future. In the book it won't actually show Jesse's perspective as she leaves Beacontown, more of how they found her gone the day after she left. (And then of course a series of awful events follow, a plot unfolding.)

I thought it would be cool to write this as a one shot, considering it won't actually be in the book, but... I just straight up don't like this. I would've redid it, if I wasn't so pushed for time. We've been out of town all day, which meant I couldn't really write. Not as easy to come up with a proper plot when you just got home from seven hours in a car.

Anyway, sorry for being a salty, dissatisfied author xD

I'll see you all with a hopefully better and longer one shot tomorrow, depending on whatever the word generator spits out next!