i found out why i keep leaving people and being retarded when doing it it's because im still in love with the person i hate the most i know that sounds stupid but ever since that day me and him split apart everyone that i got with i missed them when they were gone but when they were here with me i stopped having feelings for them its the same with the person im dating but she is getting me through it she is helping me im slowly changing i hope i do because i dont like being like this it hurts people i was wondering today it made me have really bad anxiety i was wondering about if she cant change it what if i stay like this what would i do i found out but its not the easiest decision i would either find someone better than him which the problem with that is that the someone i find "better" i will fall in love with and then they might break me... let me correct that WILL break me so ill give up after that i know i will and I'll chase after that person for the rest of my life which will get very depressing like what im doing right now i just dont know what to do the other decision is to just dwel so...idk
