One Last Wish ✔

13.

My fingers lost their strength to hold a thin paper. My eyes were nowhere, but on the blank canvas of my life where there was only a darkness. Veins in my body were warm and cold at the same time, reading my mother’s extreme confession.

Rick, the boy who had crush on me, was dead; and my parents whom I always followed my whole life was the reason of his death.

So many thoughts. So much pain. Unprecedented and unimagined experiences – everything was strange and horrific. Rick’s death and then his arrival in my life in form of soul; mother’s suicide and then her current confessions – everything was appearing as a dirty parts of a nightmare.

I didn’t want to believe it. My broken heart was just wanted to throw out the pieces of recent confession and cry out with pain – hideous pain.

My body lost its all strength as waves of grief washed over my heart. I collapsed, collapsed with my soul, my trust and my unendurable pain. I cried, cried for my mother who was pleading for my forgiveness; I cried for her beautiful thoughts which had always encouraged me to be a better person; I cried to tell her that I would not able to stop myself from missing her; and I cried for my budding love for Rick.

I had already lost my love before loosing it.

~~~

I was walking with a complete silence. Rain was washing my body as though it was making me strong for my upcoming strong actions. Forgetting boiling fever in my body, I was forcing my legs to move forward.

Just move forward, for your mother and Rick. My heart told me.

A women – my mother – had never taught me to be fragile. Her teachings were always been pure and for my betterment. So, if I’d not followed her words, I would have hurt her – I never wanted it. Hence, I made mind to forgive her and say sorry to Mrs. Maria on her behalf. I knew that Mrs. Maria’s loss could not be healed just through one sorry, though it would have lightened my heart a bit. Guilt had killed my mother, and now, I didn’t want it to kill her soul too. Anyhow, I wanted her to shine in the sky so that I could see her whenever I wanted.

Rick, a permanent space of my heart, would be there with me forever. He was gone – even before my first meeting with him. Wasn’t his love so precious? He told me his last wish – a rain dance, a sweet, memorable dance with me.

“He was in love with you,” Mr. Nathan had told me, adoring the photo of his only son. “He was too shy about it though. He wanted to express his feelings to you...and to spend some memorable moments with you was the only wish he had before his death. He wasn’t that close to me, but always wanted me to be with his mother. Unfortunately, his all wishes come true after his death.”