Quietus - Book III

Chapter 5: Aches

I could taste him.

Chocolate and cigarettes. Sweet kisses lasting one minute... five minutes...five hours. His tongue was a live wire. My body was overcharged.

I needed more. Inside.

The storm wouldn't stop us. The butterflies had eased, finally. The train doors closed at my back. Once he pressed his lips against mine to kiss me, I would never be able to stop.

He was all around and inside of me so that everywhere I turned, and everything I fathomed was Nicholas. The pulse barreled down to my very soul. And when he reached my depths, I would find his light.

"I will never wake up in the morning and want to see another set of eyes."

He filled my mouth, lengthening, hardening. I licked every vein, one by one, until he called my name. 

His voice rumbled like a brewing thunderstorm.

"Pure girl. Just be."

My sheets were down at the foot of the bed. I must've kicked them off during the intense dream. It was stifling in my room. The final heatwave of the summer took New York City by the balls and beat down the power of my AC. I had put it on several hours ago, but it didn't work at all to keep my bedroom cool.

His voice pulsed in my head, those words making me pant for more.

I peeled off my t-shirt. My nipples looked like tiny gum drops. My lips were numb, as if he had just kissed me. Tapping them, I rolled over onto my side. I pressed my thighs together, forcing myself not to remember how sweet and bitter he used to taste at the same time. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

I squeezed my eyes shut wondering what it would take for me to sleep through the night. The Benadryl wasn't strong enough. Nonetheless, the torture was coming. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. The memory of him in my mouth was already fading. The feel of his kiss was just out of reach. His screams would turn the treasures of our past into lead.

"Touch yourself, Rina." I heard the command all of a sudden.

It was so real. It didn't sting like needles, like the memories of every other thing he had said to me. It had his deep smooth baritone. It was clearer than his voice in the voicemail. It was here. His green pools were inches away. I could swear if I reached behind me, I would feel his hairy forearm.

For the first eleven nights, I expected my fingers to sink into his warm skin. For the twelfth, I hit flat sheets.

I can't be going crazy. I can't. 

"Be with me," I moaned, not wanting to but playing with my nipples. I needed more. With a shaky breath, I peeled off my panties. It left a wet sticky trail down my inner thighs.

A dull ache between my legs replaced the cold sweats. As if it were a reflex, I arched my back. I remembered what he did with my chocolate frosting as my finger dipped down to the place where he couldn't touch that night...

He lifted me up onto the counter with his lips on my neck, then my collarbone, then the tops of my breasts. 

"What-what do you plan on... d-doing with my frosting?" I already knew what he was gonna do. I knew him inside out, which was why I played naïve. He liked it when I guessed his next move.

"You'll see. Don't be so impatient."

He unbuttoned my jean shorts, pulling them down to the lacquered floor. Then, he parted my legs to stand between them. Going for my panties next, I had to stop him. My menstrual cycle ruined all the fun for tonight. When I guided his hands away from my panties, he groaned.

"Rina-"

"These stay on tonight."

He grumbled but relented. Then, he said, "Pass me the bowl, will you?" I had it behind me. 

"Not until you tell me what you're planning." I cocked my eyebrow, which he kissed away. 

"It'll be a good surprise. The worst surprises are over, remember?"

He kissed me gently, swiping the bowl from behind me. I didn't fight it. The saran wrap met its match as he tore it off the bowl, balled it up in his left hand, and threw it into the sink.

After he dipped his forefinger into the mix, he rose it up to my lips. Slowly, he spread it along my bottom lip. Then, with this sly grin, he sucked my lip from one corner to the other. I tilted my head to the right as this turned into a long kiss. If only I could make frosting that tasted like him.

He unbuttoned my blouse so slowly I wanted to take it off for him. It joined my shorts on the floor. My bra followed them dutifully.

Then, came the "surprise."

"You know how much I love chocolate." He said this against my lips before standing up straight. As soon as a dollop landed in my belly button, he followed it. The way his tongue lapped it up made me silently curse my uterus. 

"Nicholas." I moaned. I was on the verge of taking my panties off when he kissed my skin and backed away.

"You taste so much better," he whispered.

With three of his fingers wrapped in frosting, he spread the chocolate over my breasts. I took a sharp breath, my stomach so tight, tighter than my grip on the marble. He hummed as his hot tongue wound around my nipple. Mewling, I watched him suck the melted frosting dripping onto my right rib. 

I called his name, digging my heels into my mattress. I was headed to a climax, but the intensity was only half of what it used to be when he was here.

He had the goofiest grin on his face as he came up to kiss my cheek. 

"You sound like a kitten," he said into my ear. "I like it. I wanna hear it again."

His knuckles stroked the crotch of my thin panties, and I nearly slid off the counter with a squeak. He chuckled as he repositioned me. His eyes danced.

"That's not the same sound." He sucked his forefinger, then let me clean the rest off of him. I opened my mouth wide, taking both his forefinger and middle finger in. I pulled and pushed his hand to me, enjoying his sounds and the flutter of his eyelids. 

"Delicious." I kissed the palm of his hand, pleased by his unfocused gaze.

"You'll taste so good with this..." he said absently. "When?"

"Saturday. After I return from the farmer's market with Zach, I'm yours," I mumbled into another kiss.

As he lowered his face to my breasts, I dropped my head back against the cabinet. His kisses were wild over my cleavage, his moans as fervent as my own. I was so hot, the frosting melted, looking like dark fudge on my pink skin. Then, he bit into my nipple. 

I yelped and tugged his hair when he came up for another kiss. He swirled his fingers around in the bowl, coating them in more frosting.

I couldn't wait until Saturday.

I thrust my hips into the air as if he were my hand. I almost believed it as I came. Seconds passed where I thought of his lips and fingers and love. Sinking back onto my mattress, my muscles uncoiling, I took a breath.

The dull ache intensified into an unbearable thump. But there was no use quelling it. It was just a hand.

I felt like I had a bass drum between my legs. It kept me up all night, but I welcomed it to Nicholas's screams puncturing my thoughts.

As the sun rose, I heard a trace of his voice from my dream. And as my room brightened, it filled me with hope.

"I will never wake up in the morning and want to see another set of eyes."