when loving lies // h.s

chapter 1

I took two steps closer to the edge, looking over with wild eyes. The ground was far from me, the way i had always liked it. I wanted to soar like the hawks above the fields  I had always envied. I pushed one foot off and...

"Amelia, your turn," the cheerful voice next to me chimed in. I was drug like a wet mop out of my thoughts.

"huh?" I snapped my head up from twiddling my thumbs. A room full of solid faces stared back at me. Tara, the support group leader smiled to me, placing her hand on my knee.

"It's your turn to share your story," she repeated, her almost creepy smile still sat high on her chiseled cheek bones. I cleared my throat before attempting to speak.

"uhm, i don't think that's a good idea today," i choked, trying my best to show a fooling smile to the room of misfits.

"Come on, Amelia, you're going to have to share it with us someday. Or else how can we help you?" she stood, smoothing out her eye sore of a dress.

"I'm doing just fine," i assured her quietly as she passed through the circle of chairs.

"Well if you're not going to share...you're all dismissed," she exclaimed, scratching her head. I sighed in relief, shrugging on my jacket and scarf. I clutched my side bag as i made my way to the exit. I felt a small hand grip my wrist, spinning me around.

"Oh Amelia, if you ever want to talk in private...give me a call," she smiled widely, handing me a flyer with her number on it. I nodded and turned to push open the heavy, wooden door.

The cold November air hit my face as the door shut behind me. I had always admired the fall weather, how the wind whipped my hair around and the leaves crunched under my boots.

I stood beside the large sign that read 'Tara Lender's circle for change' my least favorite place to be, aside from home of course. I tossed the flyer, I had now crumbled, into nearby trash can as my mom's small suv pulled into the parking lot. My mother had always insisted on picking me up from here so we can "talk" about it on the way home. I scurried down the concrete steps and quickly pulled open the car door.

"Good afternoon, Amelia," my mother greeted me with a smile. I tried showing her one of my own but failed miserably.

"So, how was it?" she questioned. I had been a part of circle for change for a whole week and a half now, everyday she asked the same question. The only real answer I had was terrible, horrible, miserable, and any other synonym for bad. Instead I would give her a small "good."

My mom's pearly white teeth made their appearance once again as she handed over my phone. I wasn't allowed to take it to support group so i would "participate and socialize with people like me."Although i never really used it much, only for calls and an occasional text message here and there. I had a knack for reading and writing and I spent most of my days doing so.

"Oh yeah, Amelia, Mr. and Mrs. James, from a few neighborhoods over, have invited us over for dinner tomorrow afternoon, you're going with us this time," she explained to me in an instructing manner. Every time my mother and father went to family dinners I always stayed home, why was this time any different? Things were changing around my house. Then again, things haven't really been the same since we moved to Michigan.

"Why? What's changed your mind?" i questioned sourly.

"Amelia, you know I don't trust you alone after what you allowed that boy to do to you I-" she started to ramble on.

"Mom!" I cut. I wanted to hear nothing more of the reason I was here. I would just go on, without protest.

"I'm sorry but you're going, end of discussion," she hissed. I stayed silent, tracing the, now falling, raindrops with a cold finger.

"Your father should be finishing up tonight's dinner so when you get inside go wash up and meet us at the table," she instructed as she pulled the car to a stop in our large driveway. I nodded with a sigh and pushed the door open, just enough for me to slip out.

I carried myself up the stairs and to my room, shutting the door behind me. I hung up my grey sweater and wrapped my crimson red scarf on the hanger with it. My boots were stashed away and i sat down on the edge of my bed pulling out my copy of Pride and Prejudice. I had checked out the this book five times this year, I mean, how could you not? As i turned my book to the page I left off, soon the dreaded knock was heard on my bedroom door.

"Amelia, I told you to come down here for dinner," my mom called as she burst through my closed door.

"Oh, right, sorry. I'm coming," I groaned, pulling myself off of the bed as I drug my tired feet down the stairs.

"Nice of you to join us," my dad remarked. I rolled my eyes at the ground, taking my seat at the table.

"Amelia, have you taken your shoes off before sitting at the dinner table?" my mother called, carrying the chicken to the table.

"Umm yes, I'm in my own house," I explained with a questioning tone.

"Don't use that tone with your mother Amelia, go put them back on, then, you may eat," my dad chimed in. I stood from the table and stomped up the stairs.

I zipped up my boots once more and rejoined my parents in the kitchen. There was an empty spot at the table, to which belonged to my older brother, Tyler. My mom and dad had managed to push him away and caused him to stay in Texas when we moved. Tyler was 19 and I was 17, the two year age difference always kept us close and I despised his idea to stay behind.

"How was circle for change?" my dad questioned, yanking me back to reality.

"fine," i weakly replied.

(hey guys!!it's me again!!! welcome to my second book!!! i hope you enjoy this one, remember this a totally different story line and it's not at all connected to Imperfect!!xx)