Gangbanger Study-Buddy

Teacher and Student

"What's that supposed to mean?" I do my best not to sound offended but I can still hear a bit of a whine at the end of my question.

Dante's gaze lazily flickers from the light in his palm to my face. "You know," he starts, "Like...you know what you're going to do and who you're going to be but you don't know anything about the important shit in life."

I scoff. "And what exactly is this important shit as you so endearingly called it?"

He quickly sits up from his relaxed position in the dewy grass to reposition himself to face me. "Have you ever gotten up at an ungodly hour in the morning just so you could see the sun rise?"

"No."

"Sat in the park just to watch people walk around?"

"No."

"Gone outside during a thunderstorm specifically to feel the rain on your skin?"

"No."

"Called someone just because you wanted to hear their voice?"

"No...how is any of this stuff important?" I cross my arms to look defiant but I know that I'm only doing it to feel less vulnerable.

"Because it's living," he urges, tugging at the end of his hair as if by doing so I'll understand his argument better. "Life isn't about studying, or your career, or making your parents happy. It's about experiencing; it's about doing things that make you feel something—something that's bigger than yourself."

Dante's shoulders rise and fall in short bursts as if he's out of breath. I can barely breathe myself as I stare blankly into his molten eyes that churn with untapped ferocity. Of all the things for him to get worked up about I never thought it would be over the meaning of life,  but as I reflect on his words I can't help but feel as though I've been missing out.  It's not that I think everything he's mentioned isn't worth doing, I just never had the time to do any of it.  My whole life I've worked towards the future, but as I look into his eyes I can't help wanting to learn what it means to live in the present.

"Teach me," I breathe.

"What?"

I can't believe I'm doing this. "Teach me," I repeat. "I'm tutoring you so you can get back on track with school.  While I do that you can teach me more about living so I can–," I wave my hands around as I try to find the right word.

"Be less boring?" he offers with a smug expression.

"Ha ha," I retort dryly while shoving his arm. "I was going to say so I can be more adventurous but you get the point, even if it was a rude comment."

"Well," he begins, "You need to start by giving yourself some credit."

"What do you mean?"

He quickly stands up and motions around him. "Look at where you are Pop-Tart," he states. "A few weeks ago you would have never associated with a gang and now your surrounded by one. From what I see, it's a good baby step in the right direction." 

He winks at me as he says that last part.

I roll my eyes as I push myself off the ground to stand next to him. "More like a giant leap in a dangerous direction," I retort while staring out at the expanse of meadow in front of us. "But I trust you and I'm also a pretty good student so whatever you think I should do to help me start living, I'm willing to do it."

A few seconds pass in silence so I turn my head to see why he is so quiet only to find him already staring down at me.  I'm caught off guard but I compose myself enough to give him a small smile which he cautiously returns almost as if he's afraid someone will see him.  The urge to grab his cheeks to force him into a full grin overcomes me, but I quickly push it out of my mind. He'd probably kill me if I did that, especially in front of his gang.