𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇 ━━ 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐘

ten

d a n i e l

☁︎

it's been a few weeks since jack was kidnapped. i've been super depressed and out of it lately. drinking, cutting, anything to get away from the pain. it's lonely without jack.

i want to hold him in my arms and tell him it's going to be okay. but for all i know he could be dead by now. i turn on the television to get my mind off of everything. the shows that are on suck so i flip through them quickly. one catches my eye.

"early this morning at 2:30 am in topeka, kansas two male officers found dead on the side of the road. the cause of death seems to be they were shot with a glock 19 9mm semi automatic pistol. both the officers guns are gone. our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of officer lee and officer carlson" a woman says standing in front of the scene that has bright yellow caution tape all around it.

i change the channel because it wasn't that interesting and had nothing to do with jack.

my phone is still broken and i have to fix it. might as well do that today. i get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. it's 10:30 in the morning. i just woke up 10 minutes ago.

i turn on the boiling hot water in the shower and strip of my clothes. before i grabbed my razor from the box i found at jack's. i keep all my razors in there. also, i hung up the pictures of jack and i to remember the beauty of my boyfriends face. i wish i could see it again in person, just one more time.

i step in the hot water letting it hit my pale skin from barely eating. the water hitting my skin and bouncing off, going into the drain, never to be seen again.

scars and cuts on my wrists sting when water makes contact. i bathe myself, getting rid of all dirtiness and clearing my mind. only if jack were here to stop me from wrecking myself and stopping me for what i'm about to do.

i take the razor in my finger tips, slowly sliding it across my left wrist. my skin opens up for blood to seep through and into the steamy air. the water washes it away before it gets to bloody.

i repeat the same action many times on each wrist. blood is all over the white bath tub, staining it pink. i let my tears fall as the pain builds up. pain. what is pain even more?

i've become so numb to the outside world i fell like i'm already dead. more blood falls to my feet, making it's way to the drain. why do i do this to myself? why did god do this to me? he took away my happiness, made me feel dead. he's the reason i'm like this. i blame him, it's all him. jack is suffering because of his actions.

i step out of the shower, blood still coming from my wrists. i bandage them real quick then walk out. my closet is full of new clothes that my mom bought me. i get that she's trying to help me but i'm already broken.

i put on a grey hoodie and black jeans. my typical outfit. i look in my mirror. my hair is messy, my eyes are red and puffy, i look like i got hit by a million trains.

i try to fix my hair and eyes. my hair looks fine but my eyes are still a little bit red and puffy. it's barely noticeable though.

i grab my broken phone and walk downstairs. "i'm going out" i yell running down the stairs. my mom and sister are talking in the kitchen.

"okay bye daniel" my mom wave s at me.

"bye!" i shout closing the door. my car is a light blue mini cooper. i get in and drive. i drive all the way to the verizon store and walk in. a few customers are here but but not a lot.

"how can i help you today sir?" a girl about 20 asks me. she's wearing a black version shirt which tells me she's a worker.

"uhh, i need my phone fixed" i say pulling out my phone from my pocket. "oh, i can help you with that" she takes my phone and walks back to the desk.

she takes it apart and looks at it. "how did you break it?" she asks flipping the phone that is now in many pieces over. "i was at a party then dropped it" i say casually.

"yeah i see, nothing in the phone is damaged just the screen. that's why it still turned on but you couldn't use it. i have all the parts i need to fix it right now"

"great, that's awesome" i smile at her. i haven't smiled like this in weeks. this is the first time i've had a good interaction with another human being in a while.

"this will take about 30 minutes of you don't mind waiting" she has the biggest grin on her face, which made me return it.

"i wouldn't mind" i smile. "okay, just have a seat or look around the store till i'm done" she says starting to work on my phone. "thank you" i say and i really mean it. not just for the phone though.

"no problem" she replies. i leave her and look around the store.

i get a protective case for my phone so it doesn't break again. also, i get a pop socket so i don't drop it and a screen protector.

i sit down for the remainder of the time. the worker walks over to me with my phone. "there you go, brand new" she hands me my phone.

it does look brand new. "just come up to the desk and pay, then you'll be done" i get up and follow her to the desk. "that will all be $157.99" she types something into her cash register.

i hand her my credit card and she uses it, then hands it back. "there you go, have a great rest of you day" she walks away to another customer.

i walk out of the store to my car. it's sprinkling so i get in before it starts raining really hard. i get on my phone. my passwords is 4218, same as jack's.

i look through everything, lastly my messages. jack's name is at the top because he sent me a message. 'i saw a creepy white van while i was walking. 475 JEC. I think it's following me.' i read the message again because i don't believe it.

before i know it i'm pulling out of the parking lot and to the police station. i arrive at the station and go to chief allen.

he's at his desk writing on a paper. "chief allen!" i shout running into his room. "oh hello daniel" he looks up from his paper smiling.

"i have a good piece on evidence" i show him the phone. he looks at it surprised. he right somethings down on a piece of his notepad.

"i'll have detectives search this license plate number then we will get back to you, okay?" he doesn't sound right. he sounds off. "okay, thank you chief" i respond not taking his bullshit.

i get up and 'walk out' of his office. peeking into the glass of the doorway i see him crumple up the piece of paper and throw it into the garbage. "stupid teen" he says going back to his piece of paper.

i walk back in and walk to his desk. he doesn't see me, and i don't want him too. i snap my fingers really loud.

he lifts his head up and sees me. i'm pissed and i know he sees that. my fist collides with his face. i hit him right in the nose. his head flys back and he holds his nose in pain.

i grab his shirt and bring his face close to mine. "fuck you" i throw him back in his seat and walk out without another word. he's definitely losing his job. and if nobody will help me... i'll do it myself.

—
friday
july 27th, 2018
1314 words

edited on;
wednesday
september 4th, 2019
1410 words

-alayna ✰