Change My Mind (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

(15) Love You Goodbye

Shiloh

It's been four months since I last was in the UK. After everything with Adam went down my mother immediately removed me from the situation. Which, didn't really go down well with Harry and I. We fought, a lot. There were things said that really shouldn't have been said. Mostly on my part but I was in a different mindset then he was. I haven't really talked to anybody over seas except maybe Liam, but even that was few and far in between. El couldn't stop blowing up my phone when she found out but eventually she stopped messaging me. I just kept updating Liam as he did the same for me. As far as I know, everyone is still the same as they were before I left.

Coming back home was weird. People, they didn't know why I was back, but they just accepted it and moved on. Reconnecting with my friends was even stranger. It was the first time I was talking to them since I left. And they acted like I was sick for a week and came back. Joslyn especially, just acted like we hadn't spoken in months but when we saw each other it was like we hadn't stop talking in months. She caught me up on all the current gossip as I did the same for her. She was the only other soul that I told about what happened overseas. I made her swear she wouldn't tell anyone else. So far she's kept my secret.

As far as Harry and I, there is no indication of what I look forward to when I do go back. I don't know if he would still want to be with me, or if he's just threw everything to hell and finally hooked up with Brittany or someone else. He had come a long way since I had first been there, and it really would be devastating to see him lose all that progress. The first month I was home, he would text me almost every hour, then every morning and night, and then every day just once and then he stopped when I wouldn't respond. I didn't know what to say to him.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Joslyn inquires as she looks at me from across the table in the little shake parlor that we used to go to all the time. She took another sip of her drink and placed her phone on the table that constantly was blowing up.

"Nothing really." I explained to her. She looked at me and her eyes narrowing a bit and then her shaking her head picking up her phone again and typing away.

"You are such an awful liar." She rebutted. "You obviously have something on your mind because you haven't even touched your shake and it's your favorite flavor." I sat there, at first taking in my surroundings, then just figuring out what the hell to say.

"Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going back to." I started. I never really told her about Harry and it's probably better that way. "I haven't spoken to anyone in months, and the amount of work I missed at school, I bet the Headmaster is going to love to see me back."

"Listen, you'll be okay. And I know you don't believe me now but I promise you will be okay." She pauses and then puts her phone down, really looking at me. "You made it back alive, after that asshole, you can go back and tackle something as big as school for a few more months." It was silent between us for a couple of minutes. I wasn't really sure where to go with it. We sort of had a mutual understanding between us. "You're coming back, right?" Her question struck me. Was I?

It has been something that has been rolling around in my head for these last few months back in the States. I knew it was going to be a conversation that Harry and I had, one that we never finished. And partly the reason it had been such a difficult question to tackle was because I didn't know what I wanted. My mother said it was up to me. Whether I wanted to go to school in the UK or home in the States. To be honest still had no idea what I wanted to do. It had crossed my mind about being a counselor at one point but that was it, just a sliver of a thought. I shrugged my shoulders at her.