She's the Devil | ✔

Chapter Twelve

Xavier

I sit, watching Macaria and my mom talking animatedly about my embarrassing childhood memories. Macaria has a glint in her eye as if she's going to be using these against me later. And I just chuckle, knowing she most definitely will. It's just the devil in her. I can practically see the horns through her hair, but she wears them perfectly. And that's what I like the most about her. She doesn't hide who she is, and she hasn't picked a side yet. She embraces both devil and angel equally.

After Macaria leaves, mom turns to me with a strange look on her face, "I've never seen you look at a girl like that."

I rub the back of my neck, "Like what?"

"The way your father looked at me." She responds, her voice breaking. My heart hurts a little, but when I reach for her, she waves me away. Tears appear in her eyes as she turns and heads up the stairs.

I lean against the kitchen counter, staring hard down at the marble top. Grief waves over me, memories of my father washing over me. When I look up, he's there, standing in front of me. He smiles, motioning me over with open arms. For a moment, I just stand there, taking him in.

He looks the same as he did before he died. A face that is almost the exact copy of mine. Darker skin, honey colored eyes, long hair tied back in a braid. It all stood out despite his slight transparency. It probably would have freaked any other person out to see a dead relative in their living room. But after what I've been through in the last two weeks, he's almost comforting to see.

I walk over cautiously, as if the movement might make him disappear. When I'm close enough he grabs me in a tight, loving hug. His hugs are the same as they always were. Strong, comforting and safe.

"I need you to be safe," He whispers, his chin on my shoulder. "There's forces out there greater than you and I."

I pull away, holding him at arms length. I search his face, "Believe me, I know."

"You don't fully understand, these forces are going to come at you in ways you can't even begin to imagine." His eyes hold sorrow, but wisedom. "Keep your mind sharp, keep your mind closed."

Then he fades away, my hands that were on his shoulders fall to my sides. I bite my lip, holding in tears. I miss him so much sometimes. But I definitely don't miss the way he spoke in riddles and never gave clear answers. Much like now, leaving me even more confused than anything. Keep my mind closed? How?

I drag myself upstairs, collapsing on my bed. Everything has been happening so fast lately, it's hard to keep up with anything. I just want to be left alone for one day. Just one day without spirits, souls, the devil or demons. So I open the top drawer of my nightstand, slipping a blunt between my fingers.

¥

I sleep all day, ignoring messages from both Macaria and Mark. Surprisingly, Macaria is the first to give up texting me. Mark continues, spamming me with messages. Whatever it is, can wait. I just want to spend one day alone. Macaria told me that my bed is the only safe place in my house to be, back when Agmoth was still visiting. So that's where I stay, only leaving to use the bathroom.

Mom left sometime in the early morning, leaving me alone. My dad used get us up every Sunday to clean the house. Then he'd burn sage and bless the clean house. My mom burns sage on his birthday, when she thinks I'm asleep. But I could smell it from a mile away.

My mind wanders to Macaria and how I feel for her. She's definitely captured my attention and somehow, my feelings. We barely know each other, yet it feels like we've known each other for years now. She makes me feel comfortable, like I could tell her anything. But a part of me wonders about if we do end up together.

She's mentioned briefly that she's the heir to the throne. Which I'm guessing is the throne the Lucifer currently sits in. If she accepts the crown, what does that mean for us? Will I have to live in Hell with her? Am I really willing to do that? A serious relationship seemed so out of the picture yet so right at the same time. My mom always have me the advice 'If you can't bare the thought of her with someone else, then she's the one'. It's selfish of me to think this, especially when we just meet, but it physically causes me pain to think of her with someone other than me.

Good forbid it be Roman.

Was it wrong to be possessive over her? I've never really felt this way with my exes. None of those relationships meant anything to me, really. Those girls just wanted a temporary thing, and I was using them to heal the pain I was in. Girls, weed and alcohol. All to try and fix a broken heart. My dad probably frowned upon me. He raised me to respect women, not use them as bandages.

He has a lot to do with who I am. He was a strong man, very set in his ways. When he died, it was so unexpected. He got flu like symptoms, which was odd in the first place because he never got sick. And if he did, he always kept going. He once walked on a broken leg for a month, because there were things to be done. So it was like being blindsided by a semi truck in one of those tiny, two seater cars that definitely shouldn't exist, when he didn't wake up the next morning.

No doctor could explain how he died. He didn't even have the flu. I was around nine or ten. The last things I said to him were, 'It's not that bad, you'll be fine'. Turns out he would never be fine again.

A/N
Heavy shit.