My Christian Love Story

Chapter 2 "The Toxic 6 Yard Stretch"

       So it's 2012 (I'm 10) now, and it's my first day at this new school. It was a fairly small class compared to the one at my old school. I sat across from this light-skinned, brown eyed, mesmerizing smile, sweet talking angel. Or so I thought. We'll call him Carson. We sat directly across from each other and I was so lonely that anybody who gave me any romantic or loving attention, I would take. Carson and I hit it off that same day and from that day onward began this toxic 6 year stretch that neither my heart nor me were ready to withstand.

               If I were to log every time Carson cheated and lied to me and made me feel worthless since then I would run out of a case of log books and need to restock. I could honestly say that I loved this young man. I grew with Carson and loved him more than I loved myself which consistently opened the door for heartbreak time after time. He was all I had known. Carson's sister was and still is my best-friend and looking back when she told me to not be with him I should've listened. He made me feel special and like the most beautiful girl in the world at times. But he also distracted me from achieving my utmost best in school. I spent many nights crying my eyes out over how he made me feel and be distracted about him all day at school. 

          Carson promised he would get closer to God for my sake which I don't think he did. Even if he did it was under the wrong pretenses. What made the past 6 years so toxic was that I never knew how bad he was breaking me and how his manipulation fueled by lies would have led to me hitting rock bottom. I finally cut all ties with him on the last day of June. Having him even as friend would drag me back into the same old patterns that I had turned away from and I wasn't about to throw away all my progress and continue to delay my purpose for his sake. So I walked into July with a clean mind, and a new heart.