Dream Deferred MxM (Staten Krown)

20

It was the afternoon that I told Natalie about my decision to leave the modeling agency. I hadn't made my decision until the moment I made it, but since then I hadn't changed it. It was what had to be done.

I was called into the modeling agency to face Natalie and Mauricio. I hated walking in the office and seeing Mauricio's face. The tension between us was piled up. I knew he was probably still thinking about the whole thing in California.

"Ok, so you don't want to renew the contract," Natalie stated to me immediately as I sat down in the chair, "Is there nothing we can do to persuade you to stay?"

I shook my head, "I've made my decision."
Mauricio finally seemed to break out of his shell, "Your decision is wrong dammit! How can you just leave me after ... after all this!"
He was emotional. He was very emotional. He was trying to act like he wasn't. God...I was changing Mauricio. I realized it now. The way he spoke was different from before. Everything was different. He was becoming an emotional wreck. It was exactly what I wanted to avoid.

"Mauricio, I'm making the best choice...for me..."

"It's because of me that you are leaving isn't it?" he asked and rolled his eyes, "It's because of the whole argument we had in California."

No...it wasn't.

It was because I was in love with the guy who was going to be the 'best man' at our wedding. I had to start breaking the ties...

"It is personal decision that I made..." I started.

I had made up an entire explanation. Yet just as I had started to explain, I had got tongue tied. It was all going to be a lie. It was getting harder and harder to keep lying to Mauricio.

I hated hurting him.

"This is all my fault," he stated and then laid his head on the desk.

"I'm sure we can work this all out," Natalie stated, opening her eyes wide as though signaling me to give.

"No! Release him from his contract..."

"What? He still has a couple more months on it, why would we..." Natalie started to protest.

"Release him from his contract Natalie," Mauricio stated and shook his head, "Please."

I was going to say something. I'm not sure what. It was going to be something to make Mauricio feel better though. I would have told him anything...but my mouth remained shut.

I did get up however and took a step over to him...but then I stopped. I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't be his angel anymore.

I walked out of the room.

I walked all the way down the hall, as a matter of fact and I went into the men's bathroom. I looked at the mirror and all of a sudden I started to cry.

That was when I realized I wasn't in the stall alone. I watched as Xi came out of the bathroom. It was weird seeing him. He normally wouldn't be in the office at at time like that. I tried to pull back my crying, but it wasn't working completely.

"Damn, I'm sorry Xi," I told him and tried to wipe my eyes, "Sorry you have to see me like this."

He handed me a napkin and I started to wipe my tears through it. Xi started to massage my back. I smiled up at him.

"Don't show sad...sad...no good," Xi told me with his strong accent.

I smiled at XI, "I know Xi. Sad isn't any good. I'm just stuck between a rock and a hardspot...Mauricio and..."