The Zanvis Life!

You are not alone.

🚨DISCLAIMER🚨
trigger warning
This chapter talks about self-harm, depression and sucidial thoughts!
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The reason that I'm doing this is because I need to talk about how
I've been feeling and show others that they are not alone.
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I see the cuts on my left arm and I smile. It's as if those cuts were something happy and that made me feel good, but in fact they didn't make me feel good at all. Sometimes I think about them, but I try not to because I might do it again. At the same time I remember how much it hurt. I didn't make that many cuts, only a few and I didn't do it to the point where blood was covering my whole arm. I feel like this is so pointless, writing this and making it a chapter of my book. I've been through a lot, more than you can imagine. Why is it that my great grandfather can live till the age of 96, who went through war, but I'm having a hard time staying alive and I have only been living for 15 years. I'm trying to be strong and I will survive, but surviving is not living. My life is so simple and so plain, almost like a loop. I get up get some water, go back to my room, eat food, watch Netflix, cry, and then I just stare at the ceiling all night long until it's 5am. After that I cry some more and the whole thing happens all over again. That's my life. An endless and painful loop.That's all I have to say for now, let me know if you guys want to hear more in the comments or by voting on this chapter.

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Last but not least.....
"eat some junk food, it's good for you. "-Me, 2018