Try my best (completed)

Chapter 1

I didn't choose this none of this is my choice, I did it to stop myself from getting more broken then it already was, I built a wall up to protect myself from everything that had once hurt me and I couldn't let in anything that could destroy me even if that meant pushing away my mum.

I guess I should start from the beginning Mark.. the man who on my birth certificate is said to be my father all I know him as is the man that tried to destroy me he partly did emotionally, he did physically he hurt me and left scars but the, police got to him before he destroyed me completely you see my mum was very ill when I was young so I lived mostly with him..I hated him.

He destroyed the young nieve girl I once was, I catch glimpses of her sometimes I think she still there deep down she's just hidden under hate, fear and memories. Sometimes I wish that girl was still there but my past changed me they say your past makes you who you are I guess their right.. It made me a scared girl who is frightened of the world.

Mum tries to help I know she does but seeing her just reminds me of the past the past I try so hard to forget I know it hurts her but allowing anyone to get close to me again would only allow myself to be a victim and I've played that role to many times.

I don't blame mum for anything she couldn't help being ill she couldn't help the fact that most of my childhood she was in hospital I just wished I could have had a normal childhood you know go to primary, play, go round friends house. have toys.. I didn't get that I went to secondary school but by then the damage was already done my dad was taken away by the police when I was in year 8, I'm in year 10 now I'm 15 oh and by the way I'm Becca short for Rebecca.

Things have changed so fast in these past couple of months, mum got married to a man called simon last week, he's moving in tomorrow and if that's not bad enough Simon has two sons Harry and Louis who will also be living with us. What if they turn on me? My dad did, my own dad tried to destroy me so who says they won't, three boys against me!

Don't let them in don't let get passed my walls the walls I've built up around me then they can't break me!