Catwalk

04. Standing in the eye of the storm.

When Isabella finally finishes taking my measurements, all I want is one of those mysterious bottles of Granny Josie.

Malcolm approaches me, my body reacts indepently to my head and I already have goosebumps when he comes close to whispering in my ear. "I'm sorry my collegue was so rude, but I promise I'll make it worth it." Shit, it's sexy, very very sexy. Then he takes the opportunity to say something that accelerates my heart even more - I didn't even know that this was possible. - "I will represent Bowie myself. You guys know how I am when I have a hunch." Isabella releases a musical laugh and rage eats me inside. What is all this about between them?

The bitch then decides that the time for my photos has come. "Bunny to the wall, show us what you have." Normally I don't allow anyone but Madeleine or dad to use nicknames with me, but I'm out of combat here. I bite my cheek inside with such force that I just feel the salty taste of blood.

Elliot the photographer smiles at me warmly. Still, it isn't enough for my anger to calm down even a bit. Anyway, he must have seen something promising in my expression because the only thing he says is yo keep going like this.

It surprises me because beyond the selfies and some special occasions in which I pose with the family I had never been so long in front of a camera. I feel comfortable, so much that for a moment I forget that this room is full of people. Of people who also apparently remove my feelings.

"Can you show me something sweeter. I don't know, think of a mountain of pancakes with chocolate and strawberries, that usually works for me." Elliot caresses his stomach as if he couldn't bear the thought of not eating something like that in the next fifteen seconds. I'm not sure why, but his naturalness makes me laugh out loud. "Sorry, did I spoil the photo?" I guess I'm red again, it's what usually happens to me when I'm ashamed. "No, quite the opposite, that has been really sweet." I look down, he makes a sign for me to stay just like that with his right hand while his left holds the camera as if he had been born with it under his arm.

"Doesn't she seem too virginal? Hey Bunny, still a virgin?" Even with that sweet sound in her voice, Isabella's words can't make me feel more embarrassed and exposed. "Isabella!" Malcolm represses her while I repress my own tears, but what happens to me? I know I can take more than this.

"It's none of your business." My voice sounds much better than I would have expected, it is firm and the phrase comes out of me with a disdain that makes Elliot press the button again to take some photos. "Oh look Nash, your Bunny bites! At least she has more than one face." Isabella moves with ease her long black hair, I swear there is a glint of evil in her eyes that even the stupidest could see.

Elliot checks something with Malcolm while I struggle with everything I have to not tear Isabella apart. My representative tells the boy to continue with the session.

I feel like I missed something until the next time Elliot comes with one of his requests "Something more ... sensual? You know, think about ... ehm ... well, maybe this is one of those moments in those you can fill in the blanks. Imaginaton's power." I'd be lying if I said that right now I don't have some ideas in mind.

I want to do this well. My pride is taking place, the anger that Isabella has generated in the last few hours has to go somewhere. If she is convinced that I look too virginal for this world, I intend to show this one that I can compete with her in being such a bitch.

I take a moment. My eyes are closed and images pass through my mind like flashes. That I never got past the preliminaries doesn't mean I haven't felt sexy before. When I open my eyes, they know what direction to take. Malcolm's gray eyes are going through my body again, instead of letting shame eat me, I use it for my benefit.

I lick my lips and look at the camera with fierceness. I concrete in a few moments. A casual touch, a hand on the end of my back, fingers playing distractedly with the end of my hair. I change my position from time to time. From one moment to another there is nothing and no one else in that room, only the camera and me.

I have no idea what I'm showing because the silence is so tense that it could be cut with a knife. After what seems to me an eternity, someone finally speaks. "I told you guys, I'm never wrong with my hunches." Malcolm is in front of me, with that damn smile crowned with the dimple. His fingers caress my cheek lightly and the spell in which I was breaks. I feel the heat rise from my chest to my cheeks and to the tips of my ears. I hear a whistle in the ears, which afterwards without me understanding what happens, turns into applause.

Dead of shame and I imagine that pretty red, I look again at everyone in the room. There are only two people who are not applauding. Isabella has her arms crossed and her gaze remains disdainful. Whatever it's that I have done in front of the camera, it hasn't impressed her even a bit. Elliot the photographer doesn't applaud either, he absentmindedly denying with his head before getting busy reviewing the photos he has taken of me.

Malcolm is congratulating me and listing a series of things that we will have to do after this session. Strangely to what I'm used to, this time I'm not able to pay him attention. "I need to see some of the photos. May I?" Actually I'm not asking permission from him, I want Elliot's one.

When I approach the boy he just shrugs and begins to slide photos on the camera's screen. The Bowie that looks at me from there isn't the one I'm used to seeing when I look myself in the mirror. She is a woman, she is sensual, she exudes confidence in herself. This woman is sweet but there is something in it her disturbs. There is something that bites, that prompts you to look. To ask for more. "Woah, Malcolm was right, you're a fucking genius!" Normally I don't act like this with people I just met, but suddenly my arms are hanging from his neck and I'm narrowing him. "Thank you very very much!" Before finishing the awkward hug, he shakes my hand. I can notice that he passes a piece of paper yo me. "Open it when you think you need it, and believe me, you'll need it."

Isabella and Malcolm call me, we must continue with the agenda. Yes, it seems that now I have an agenda. "Tomorrow you'll start classes. Catwalk, photography, manners and fashion culture, you'll meet the girls." Isabella has that evil glow in her eyes again. "You will love them." She whispers with that stupid sweet tone in her voice before confirming that we're done.