Niley Oneshots

Insecurity 💔

WARNING: DON'T READ IF YOUR SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM' S.

Riley's P.O.V

Walking up in the library, feeling depressed all the thoughts started going through my head as I was nothing.
No one wants me..I'm helpless, I'm a nobody...everyone hates me..they want me to die.

Thinking this I walk out of the library and into the bathroom, washing my face as I look up towards myself and in the corner of my eye I saw a Razer blade and a rush of thoughts go through my head 'cut..cut it will help the pain..I'm nothing..cut..cut..cut' that's all the thoughts that were in my head grabbing the Razer blade I roll up to sleeve and press the blade on my skin, slicing my skin in a straight line.
Blood was coming out of my wound all I could do was slide down the wall and continued to cut my skin until I felt I was better. Hearing the sounds of Noah awakening I stuff tissue up my sleeve and hid my blade walking out of the bathroom smiling.
No one will know the pain in feeling...
Seeing that Noah was getting out of bed I stopped smiling looking at the mirror I saw Dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep.

Two hours later, Noah and I were sitting on the sofa watching tv holding hands but my thoughts were somewhere else all I could think was 'no one cares about me. Noah only goes out with me because he feels sorry for me' after thinking them thoughts I get up and smile saying softly, " I'm just going to go read a book" Noah nodded as he never thought anything strange about it.
Once I got into the library I saw that I still had the long mirror on the wall, looking at myself I saw nothing but fat wrapping one arm around my stomach I say quietly, " I'm ugly....I'm fat...cut... " hearing I say cut I passed out, finding myself on the floor with my arms completely cut from the beginning of my arm to my hand...no..no..no..I done it again.
Quickly I get up and throw the blade outside the window as I scrub the bloodstain on the floor, pushing more tissues up my sleeves it wasn't working so grabbing some bandages I put them on my arms. I sigh in relief, "Thank God...I don't want Noah finding out..he will hate me" starting crying I wrap myself in a ball luckily the door has a lock because Noah knocked on the door.
Wiping my eyes I get up and take a deep breath as I hear Noah " Riley, Dinner's ready!! " He shouts and I just curl up even more. I don't want to eat...eating will only make me fatter. "I-I'm not hungry!!" I yell back
Noah just walks away thinking I was too into my books, he left me in peace but really I wanted to tell him everything..maybe I should tell him what's been going through my head...No! He might leave me..he will think I'm weird...disgusting...I'm disgusting.
Starting to cry worse than before I covered my mouth to make sure no sound would come out while I scrunched my face up.
After a while I open my eyes, rubbing them a little because they were sore getting up slowly I felt weak as I looked at the window seeing it was dawn. My stomach started To rumble, "ugh...I'm hungry..but if I eat I'll get fat..." Looking down at my stomach I started punching my stomach to stop the hunger.I

It's around 9 pm and I still haven't eaten anything, walking out of the library I saw Noah watching me see if I would get and have something to eat but I just wasn't hungry. Sitting next to Noah he wraps his arm around my shoulders this made me jump in surprise as I didn't think he would do something like this, Noah notice something was wrong with me I had the same too on for a month when he leaves he knows I wash it and put it straight back on, he looks at my arms noticing something white underneath my sleeve but he doesn't take any notice of it as I would always keep tissue there if I had a cold.
Getting late Noah kisses my cheek this made me smile for a bit but only for a minute as he went upstairs for bed leaving me downstairs alone...like always....I'm alone...I always spoil the mood for others.
(NOOOO RILEY DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT TELL NOAH HE LOVES YOU!)

While it was 3 am (the devil's hour!!) sitting alone in the dark still I didn't move from my seat as I was too scared of the dark, covering my face I heard creaking sounds on the stairs and I get hands on my shoulders. A familiar voice spoke, " come to bed, I'm here don't worry" turning around I see Noah. I couldn't help but hug him tightly wrapping my legs around him, hearing the sound of his chuckle and his warm of his body made me fell fast asleep in his arms. Taking me to bed he slowly put me on my side of the bed and a bit of my sleeve rises up showing a bandage, Noah's eyes widen in disbelief as he rips it off slowly to not wake me up and saw my self-harm marks he puts the bandage back on my arm. Noah sits on his side of the bed covering his eyes as he thinks of why I would do that realising it made sense about me not eating he lays back down on the bed and just hugs me while he falls into his deep sleep.

The next morning I wake up to me being in Noah's arms and I move away quietly trying to not make any sound as I walk out of the room and downstairs. A couple of hours later Noah wakes up afterwards with worry in his face as he came downstairs went into the library and saw me reading a book, he sighs in relief as he came up to me and gave me a big hug, " you can always tell me anything Riley, I love you" he says softly in my ear as I started sobbing as I break down in Noah's arms

"I need to tell you something, Noah..." I say softly with eyes fall of tears

××××××××××××The end×××××××××××××

Hey guys! This was really sad to make I had a huge writer's block and I didn't know what to write.
I hope you enjoy this well not really enjoy it as it's sad but YOU KNOW WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY!! 😂
Love you all
-E