Purpose ↬ Zaniel Heavey

8

z a c h a r y
"Ryan.....Ryan," I say knocking on his door but I don't get a reply which worries me. "Ryan, dinners ready." Still no reply.

"Open this door up right now Ryan," I scream out but still nothing. He angers me sometimes by not telling me what's wrong. I wanna help and he won't let me, it makes me feel like I'm not a good big brother.

"Ok if you don't open this door in three seconds I'm getting mom," I try to threaten but it's kind of not really a threat. I would just get her to give me the key.

But surprisingly I hear the door unlock and I twist the knob. Entering the room I notice it's quite dark. The curtains are closed and it's a mess as I expected. But my gaze finally reaches Ryan sitting on the bed staring at me.

But I frown as I just stand there looking at him. I'm not surprised that he's gotten beat up again as I see a badly bruised face. Moving closer I see the black eye and a deep cut running down the left side of his cheek. I also see a cut on his lip, and I realize it's the same cut I treated before but just reopened. But somethings different.

His neck has bruises as if someone gripped it. Rushing over to sit beside him to examine his neck. Running a finger softly over his neck. He still winces at the touch.

"Did someone try to choke you," I ask worriedly.

"No," he says coldly but doesn't look at me at all.

"Don't lie to me," I stare at him waiting for answers.

"Zach, I already told you it's nothing, don't worry about it." He continues to not look at me and just stares at the ground.

A silence fills the room and I get up from his bed sighing. "I'm going to go get the first aid kit but this time I want answers, I want to know who's bullying you."

I leave the room and go toward the bathroom. I'm hoping he will tell me this time. I can help him, I know I can. I don't want him to feel hurt or anything I do. He should have no worries, make friends, maybe get a girlfriend even. I don't want him to turn into me.

Returning to his room, he sits with a frown on his face and stares up at the ceiling now. Sighing, I go and sit beside him, beginning the same routine.

Turning his chin toward me, I grab the alcohol and pour some on a cotton ball. Slowly dabbing it over the cut on his cheek. "So who did this to you."

He says nothing and gulps as I continue to treat his wounds. "You have to tell me, Ryan. I want to help you. Keeping quiet is not helping, someone tried to choke you. You could of died."

"But I didn't," he remarked making me frown even more.

"Ryan, tell me why someone would do this." I rub the cotton ball a little harder causing him to wince.

"I'm not telling you for a reason so can you shut up about it." He blurts out angrily. What does he mean for a reason, he acts like I couldn't possibly understand.

"No I'm not. Tell me the reason," I barked back.

"You're GAY!!" He blurts out suddenly.

"Yeah but what does that have to do with anything," I scrunch my eyebrows confused.

"They beat me because I have a fucking gay brother." My eyes grow wide as he stands up slinging his arms around. "You happy now."

"Ryan I-" But he quickly interrupts me. "I don't wanna hear it." He says before walking out of his room. I just sit on his bed feeling the tear slip down my face.

•••

"So...Zach how are you doing" Dr. Besson asks the same question he has every time I've visited. In his always friendly voice. I wonder how he can always be so happy.

"It was ok, I guess. I mean I thought my depression was getting better because Daniel just makes me so happy. I like to think about him and he sort of makes feel as if I've known him forever." I let the words flow through me while staring at the blank ceiling.

"Who's Daniel?" Corbyn asks confused as I hear his scribbles as he writes on his notepad.

"Oh, he's the patient I was telling you about, the one that's in a coma," I explain.

"Hmm." I hear him say as if he's intrigued. "You said you thought your depression was getting better, why are you questioning it?"

"Well yesterday I found out why my brother is getting bullied and it's all my fault. And I also went to bed and had a dream about Daniel never waking up and it's just makes me worried and anxious." My voice was starting to get shaky.

I hear some more scribbles on his notebook. "Why do you think it's your fault for your brother's bullying?"

"Because..I'm gay," I choked out.

"Zach you can't control the fact you're gay. You love who you love. But I do recommend your brother telling the authority of the school." I listen to the words he says. Maybe Dr. Besson is right?

"I know I'm right, Zach and as for the Daniel thing. He brings you the positive in your life, don't let that one bad dream destroy the happiness he brings to you." I listen to his wise words and smile. Daniel is my bright light.

The definition of  depression is a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. (I looked it up)

- KimlovesWDW