No Memory

5

I sit at Charlie's desk once again. I smile out of pure happiness as some of the sun shines in through the windows of the office. The police and FBI bustle about. I probably look insane sitting alone at a desk smiling to myself. I sigh happily as I watch Charlie and Reese talking to an FBI agent. Its a pretty blonde woman. She keeps giving Charlie dirty glances. I wonder why. Charlie's the nicest guy ever, sure he's weird for letting a random girl in his house and letting her stay even though she could get him killed.

"Anna May," I whisper to myself. Excited shivers run through my body. This is the best day I have had in a long time. I look around. No one seems to notice me here. I lean back on the chair and wait for Charlie. I try to think. Every time I remember something I'm with Charlie. Maybe he makes me remember. I don't know. I haven't spent a lot of time without him either. He comes out of the office that the FBI took over. He sees me and winks with a sly smile. Reese gives another smile to me as well. They walk over and sit down.

"Looks like we are all in a good mood," I smile. Reese gives a small laugh. She folds her hands together and leans forward towards Charlie and I. I feel my smile fade as both of their smiles disappear from their mouths. Charlie looks at me.

"We know a lot about but we just can't seem to find you," Charlie frowns. I look at Reese and then to Charlie.

"You can't find me?" I ask my eyes widen with fear. If the police and FBI can't find me then who can? I take in a deep breath. I block out Charlie's comforting words. Muffled voices surrounding me.

The killer can find me. He can kill me. He will kill me, he will kill Charlie if he gets in the way. I have to leave charlie's house. Its not safe there.

"Look Charlie, I don't think, that I um," I can't get the words out of my mouth. I lower my eyes and stare at the desk. I open my mouth again but the words get caught in my throat. I can't say it.  I could earlier now I can't.

"What is it?" He smiles reassuringly to me. I look at him. I can't leave him, I just can't. Something makes me feel so safe around him. So happy and sad, just a mix of strange emotions.

"I don't think it matters who I am, not yet anyway, once we catch this bastard we can find out who I am if I still want to know," I smile at him.

"If you still want to know?" Reese sits up in her chair. I look at her sheepishly.

"Not many people get to start over, I'm lucky I get to. I mean sure I was raped and beaten but I can get past that, I can live again," I sigh happily. Reese looks at Charlie with an angered look. Charlie gives her an innocent look.

"You told her she was raped?" Reese hisses at him.

"She wanted to know. I do believe the freedom of speech is still allowed in this country right?" Charlie raises an eyebrow. Reese rolls her eyes. I smile at her.

"It would have bothered me tremendously to remember it happening. If you hadn't told me I probably would have gone into shock when the memory came," I shrug at them. Charlie smiles and nods towards me proving himself right.

"Alright, the FBI are going to want to question you when they have time, just so you know," Reese stands up. She grabs her coat and sunglasses. Charlie gives her an inquisitive look.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asks. Danny puts her coat on, she grabs her purse which was hidden under her desk.

"There's nothing to do here, the FBI have it under control," Reese shrugs.

"I suppose, wanna go swimming?" Charlie asks me. Danny shakes her head as she leaves. I look at Charlie.

"You didn't see my pool, I figured swimming might be fun," Charlie smiles at me as he stands up. He grabs his suit coat. I stand up and follow him to the elevators. He doesn't say anything as the elevator comes up and opens. We walk in. He presses the floor level button. We are the only ones in the elevator. Silence takes over.

"Is there something you want to say?" I ask as I look at him. He stays quiet until he finally sighs. He turns and looks at me.

"I think I like," He says. It sounds so childish I almost laugh. But I know better than that. I look at him. His eyes fill my soul. I don't have any words. My tongue feels numb. I open my mouth but then close it again. What do I say? I like you too? Me too? No no no, how about, Charlie you have been so amazing to me that I think I like you too. Ya that sounds good.

"I think I love you," I sputter out. That's so not what I meant to say. What the hell Anna? Why would you say that?

Charlie opens his mouth but closes it again. He turns to face the front as the doors open. We walk out of the elevator and to his car without a word. He unlocks the doors and gets into the drivers seat. I keep my head down as I climb in. He puts the keys in and starts the car. More silence. Did I just screw everything up? I grimace as he pulls out of the street and drives home. I watch the scenery of the city change. Its almost three in the afternoon. The sun is high in the sky. It's a hot day. I look over at Charlie. He stiffens as he sees me looking at him.

I put my hand over my eyes. I'm an idiot. I played a card too soon. Now Charlie thinks I'm a weirdo. Dammit. What have I done?

Charlie pulls on to his street and then into his driveway. He takes out the keys but stays in the car. He continues to look forward. I look at him waiting. What do I do?!

"I think I do too," He whispers. He opens the car door and gets out. I stare at him dumbfounded as he shuts the car door. I unbuckle and open the car door.

"That's it then?" I ask. Why did I say that? God, mouth shut up!

"Yup, I think I have a swimsuit upstairs for you," He looks over his shoulder with a smile. I almost wanna slap him. This could have been romantic. Yet he still wants to go swimming. I wanna kiss him too. I smile and slightly jog up to the house.

I smile. Is this the beginning I want? Do I really love Charlie? Do I want Charlie? Do I?

I walk up the stairs. Not only ascending upward physically but mentally. I smile as he comes out with two bikini's in his hand.

"One for me one for you?" I smirk. His face goes to a shade of pink. I giggle as I take the blue one from his hand. I leave him standing there with the yellow bikini still in his hands. I walk into my room and close the door. I sigh swimming will take away the pain.

And maybe even the embarrassment of telling Charlie I loved him.

Telling him the truth.