Bloom

Seventeen

"And of course louis is always allowed to visit us", they heard Anne say.

They were in Harry's room, Louis' dad had his funeral just around a week ago, Harry was the only person he wanted to see. Their parents were talking downstairs, Louis thought it was stupid. He didn't need permission to see his best friend, they were 17, he could do whatever he wanted to. His dad never minded where he went, as long as he was home before 11.

Tears started welling up in his eyes when he thought about him. It really wasn't fair, why him? Why not someone else? Someone that actually deserved it. He felt Harry's fingers run through his hair and hummed.

"Are you okay Lou?" He heard a comforting voice ask.

Louis nodded, blinking back tears. He heard Harry sigh and felt him shift underneath him.

"You're allowed to cry, you know?" He said.

Louis shook his head, he burrowed his head into Harry's shirt and felt a couple of tears fall.

Harry ran his hands across Louis' back, trying to comfort him.

"I'm sure he's looking at you from up there", he whispered, "watching you, being so proud of you".

Louis looked up, "proud of what? I'm a mess".

Harry shook his head, "you're taking this so well, Louis look at you, you're helping your mom with her household, you're still going to school, you're comforting your sisters".

"And yet, here I am, crying and being pathetic in front of you", he sniffled.

"Louis, crying is normal", Harry reassured him, "I'd find it a lot more disturbing if you didn't cry".

"You don't understand Harry, it's like I'm going insane, it's like I can't accept he's gone, I see him everywhere, everywhere", he whined.

"What do you mean you see him?" He asked.

"Like", Louis wiped his eyes, "like, when I go to sleep, it's like he's standing there, just watching. Or when I'm riding my bike, I sometimes see him leaning against a tree".

Harry had trouble wrapping his head around that, on the other hand, Harry had never lost someone before. He could only do so much for Louis.

"I don't wanna feel anything anymore Haz".

"I know Lou, trust me, I know".

"Do you think I can ever make him proud?", Louis asked.

"I'm certain you're making him proud".

"I wish I could hear his voice again", he whispered.

Harry just nodded and listened.

"Just wanna listen to him, listen to him telling me he loves me, or hell, even just scolding me for not doing my homework, or listening to him rant about Lottie's new boyfriend".

"He did that a lot, didn't he?" Harry chuckled.

Louis looked up at him and smiled, "yea, he did", he said. He wasn't as sad as he was moments before. He was more nostalgic now.

He cuddled closer into Harry's chest. "Thank you for listening to me whine day after day", he mumbled.

"That's what friends are for, aren't they?" Harry answered.

Louis nodded, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

"Do you think that, if we asked your mom, I would be able to take you on a trip?" Harry asked all of a sudden.

"A trip?" Louis asked.

"Well, yeah. I think it'd do you well. We could go camping, take our fishing equipment and just relax. I just think leaving our little town for a while could do wonders for you", he answered.

Louis thought about it for a second. It did sound appealing, but then again, he'd feel bad, he'd feel so bad for having fun while this happened, he felt like he wasn't allowed to have fun anymore.

"Lou?" He heard Harry ask.

"Yeah, Uhm, Sorry, yeah", he stuttered.

"If you don't want to go, that's fine, it was just a suggestion", Harry reassured.

That was the problem wasn't it, he shouldn't feel like he wasn't allowed to have fun anymore, his dad would want him to go out and have fun. And if Harry was right, and his dad truly was watching over him, he's sure he would much rather watch him go on a fun fishing trip with his best friend than him constantly crying and sleeping.

"No, I want to go, it'll do me good, it'll be fun", Louis said, sounding as though he was convincing himself.

They went down and asked Johannah, who couldn't be more enthusiastic about it. She wanted nothing more than for her son to be happy. "Of course you can darling, just promise me you'll be safe, alright?" She said.

Louis nodded and felt two hands cupping his cheeks before a soft kiss was pressed to his forehead, "I'm so happy you're doing better Lou", his mom whispered before ruffling his hair.

Louis groaned and tried to fix his hair, hiding the little smile that wanted to come out. He loved his momma, he truly did, but you know, you have to keep up that tough guy facade.

He turned around and saw harry grin, that boy was too adorable for words. He was so glad he had him as his best friend, he was always nothing but supportive and actually wanted the best for him.

He didn't understand why Harry wanted to hang out with him anyways, well, now he understands, but he used to be so confused. Little Harry, with his curly hair and neatly ironed plaid shirts, his dress shoes when he was going out and his work shoes that desperately needed a replacement. He was the polar opposite of Louis, who had started rebelling.

Louis loved wearing denim and torn up band shirts, his leather jacket was another staple piece. He truly wanted to grow his hair out but that's one thing his mother told him was off limits. He was free to dress however he wanted, but he wasn't going to change his actual appearance. That meant no tattoos, no piercings, and no weird hairstyles.

He was confused when Harry first came to his house and immediately went to his box of records. Here he was, thinking harry was a country enthusiast, but no, this boy went straight for the latest Metallica album. 

"You like them?" Louis asked bewildered.

"I love them", Harry admitted, "mommy just doesn't really allow me to listen to them, she says she doesn't want any yelling people in her house".

Louis giggled.

"Not that I haven't noticed, but you're also into them right? What are some of your favourite bands?" Harry had asked.

And that was how they figured out they had the same taste in music. They had endless conversations about their favourites, going from ac/dc to depeche mode. From Aerosmith to the police, from joy division to the stones. Louis absolutely loved having someone that liked the same things as he did, it made living in this hellish town a lot easier.

He shook his head, coming back to reality. "I should go home and pack then, shouldn't I?" He said, quickly saying his goodbyes to the Styles household and preparing for the best trip of his life.