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45ᵀᴴ CHAPTER

                                        45ᵀᴴ CHAPTER 

      "Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been" 

It’s relieving, come to think of it. Having people who care about you no matter how bad your mood might be, or how much you can be actually considered a pain in the arse.

And Elisha knows she’s not on the best of her days – nor have been for the past weeks –, but even so Dorothy hasn’t changed one single thing about her demeanour. She’s just as sweet and caring as she was before Harry fucking Styles showed up and turned Leesh’s life completely upside down. She still listens as the woman babbles about interesting columns she read on yesterday’s newspaper, or how incredulous she still gets with the genocide that seems to occur daily in several different countries, for no believable reason at all.

What’s with people to kill one another, anyway?

Leesha talks about PJ, about his job, about the weather. She even gets the chance to laugh to tears once when some weird lady walks into the café holding some sort of stuffed dog – something Dora doesn’t let slip out of her grip for a second. They laugh back in the kitchen whilst Bridgit prepares hot-dogs and shakes her head at them both, trying to stifle the laughter herself.

When nothing else is up, Leesh talks about Patsy, then, how he’s been missing for a while. And that’s about it.

It is fine, she keeps repeating to herself, because it is. It should be. This has been her life for the past years and she hasn’t once complained about it. Not so far.

But then… She got used to the door slamming open against the wall as some curly-haired freak walked in (more like tripped in, but let’s keep his balance out of the equation). She got used to loud cackles and deep green eyes staring out the window like he’s longing for something. She got used to how they stayed back in the kitchen after everyone else was gone; pretending to do the dishes when usually Harry would sit there and watch, wait for the perfect moment to sneak in behind her and put a simple finger to the tap where the water ran down, making it splash all ways until she turned around and pushed him back.

And, well, she’s in love now, so she’s allowed to miss also the way how he always held her as her hands rested on his chest. How he wouldn’t let go of the dishcloth as he pulled her in and stole a kiss with some smug smirk that always got in the way.

She misses him. And everyone knows it, by now. Discreet, she is. Believe it (not for a second).

Dora is the same as she’s always been, but Elisha still notices the glances she receives every now and then, whenever the old lady doesn’t think she’s paying attention. And Leesh knows she’s worried, but there’s nothing much she can do about it. She’s in love with Harry, and, of course it stings a bit that he isn’t around as much as he used to be, but it’s also the first time she really wants to be with someone, so it’s not all that bad.

The clock is loud behind her, the sounds in the kitchen seeming too distant to cover the silence of the night outside, far more appealing to Elisha’s attention. She can vaguely listen to the sound of overlapping voices and clinking pans, some outbursts of laughter, just as usual.

She’s not on the mood for it, though, so she simply sinks down further on the chair and applies strength to her feet only enough to make it swing to both sides, as far as her firmed shoes on the ground allow.

At some point, she completely loses what was left of the connection with the real world and drifts into a thought of some song that’s been nagging her all day; lyrics that kept repeating themselves as if on replay.