ghost of you // m.g.c

seven

*Michael*

The next morning, I feel like shit. When Stella comes in holding her bear, it only adds to it. 

"What are we going to do today?" Stel asks, sitting on the floor in front of me. 

"I was thinking you could go and hang out with Maddie and Eli or Emma," I mumble, avoiding eye contact. I find it pathetic that I can't even look at my daughter because she reminds me so much about Tessa. 

"Maddie and Eli!" She smiles. I nod and grab my phone off the charger. 

Cal answers on the 3rd ring.

"Yes, Michael, Stella can come play with the twins," Cal says before I can even ask the question.

"Thanks man. Can you pick her up?" I rub my freehand over my eyes. 

"Be there in 10," He sighs before hanging up.

"He'll be here in a few," I tell Stel. She nods and walks into her room.

"Daddy come help me!" She yells from her room. I groan as I get up. I change Stella into an outfit and brush her hair. The doorbell rings as I tie her shoes. She runs to it and opens it. Cal picks her up and spins her around. She giggles as he peppers her face with kisses. 

"Thanks Cal," I say, a sob escapes my lips. I hate crying in front of Stella. I walk over to her and place a kiss on her forehead. 

"I love you daddy. I'll see you soon!" She smiles before wiping a tear from my eyes. I kiss her small hand. 

Cal carries her off and puts her in a car seat. When I know they're gone, I go into the kitchen and grab a beer. I hate that this is my solution. My phones buzzes next to me as well as the front door being banged on. I get up and open the door first. Ashton looks at me. He takes the beer from my hand. 

"What are you? Psychic?" I laugh. 

"No. Calum called me. Told me you made him pick up Stella and that there was a 95% chance you were getting drunk," He sighs, taking a swig of the beer.

"So did you come here to tell me to stop?" I question, watching him down the rest of the beer. 

"No, I came here to get drunk with you. But if Calum asks, it's what you said," He laughs, throwing the empty bottle in the trash. He goes into the fridge and grabs two more bottles. He cracks them open and hands me one.

Once we're fairly drunk, my brain shuts off and my mouth takes over. 

"So, what are you drinking to?" I question, looking at my blurry friend. 

"I've been thinking about proposing to Bethany," Ashton says as a giggle escapes his lips. I spit the beer in my mouth all over the place. 

"Seriously?" I ask, anger filling me. He looks at me confused.

"My fucking wife died and you come here with some bullshit about proposing to your girlfriend?! Get out," I groan. 

"Michael," He sighs. He's clearly not as drunk as I thought he was. 

"Get. Out," I say sternly. He puts his hands up in defense and leaves. Once the door shuts, I gather all the empty beer bottles and throw them away. 

Then, I make my way to the bedroom and lay down. I pull the covers over my face and close my eyes. 

"Stop wasting your life away, Mikey," Tessa's voice calls out from a direction I couldn't tell since I was standing in the middle of a white room.

"We have a daughter. And I can't raise her. I'm dead." Her body appears far away. Too far. 

"Tessa!" I yell, running towards her. 

"Grow up, Mikey. For Stella. She needs a dad. Not a drunk. I love you. I love you endlessly. But you need to step up!" She yells as the ground disappears from under me. Suddenly, I'm falling. I scream my head off until...

I snap awake. I push the covers off me and rub my head. Hangovers. Gotta love 'em. Tessa's words run through my head. 

'Grow up, Mikey. For Stella. She needs a dad. Not a drunk. I love you. I love you endlessly. But you need to step up.'

Before I can even process what I'm doing, my phone is pressed against my ear. Calum's tired voice hits me. 

"What's up?" Cal asks. 

"How's Stel?" I ask. 

"She's good. She's sleeping. Do you want me to drop her off tomorrow morning?" He asks. 

"Drop her off at like 3. I have something to do," I yawn. 

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Mike," He sighs before hanging up. 

I put my phone down and grab the notebook from Tessa's bed side table. I write down to words. 

Princess party.

---

Hey. I'm tired. And sad. Once again. I live a tired and sad life.