A/N: All of these are gonna be sooo shitty.
Memories of his past life haunted his every waking moment. He had so many regrets, so many things he wished he had and hadn't done. He wished he'd considered things better, had not with Maria, or at the very least he wished he hadn't villainized her like he did on that god awful pamphlet. He wished he hadn't given his son those guns, he wished he'd done more to obliterate slavery, just like his dear John had.
God, how he had missed John Laurens.
Perhaps the South Carolinian was his biggest regret. He had opened his heart for the man far too widely and before he knew it, it was being shattered. Just like John's flesh when that goddamn bullet pierced his pale skin and lead him to his death. Over the course of the many years he had lived this new life of his, he had found several people from the past. His friends Nathaniel Greene and Benjamin Tallmadge, Peggy Schuyler who was still looking for her sisters, John Adams to his great misfortune, and yet still no John Laurens. No Elizabeth Schuyler, either.
They taught old souls to not live in the past from a very young age, but how could he not? He had wished he could do everything again, but not like this. Not without them by his side. He had never before felt so lonely while still being surrounded by so many faces, not even while battling against Congress with nothing but his quill besides him. He had always imagined John Laurens by his side when envisioning the future, whenever the matter was politics or kisses.
He was doing it again, god he just couldn't stop thinking about his beautiful soldier. The way his pink lips seemed to be always at the brink of a smile, how his dirty blond hair had felt tangled on his fingers. The warmth of his skin. It was all immortalized on his painful memories.
He needed a hobby.
His mangled thoughts were more pestering than usual today, which led Alexander to the nearest bar. He wasn't a worshiper of alcohol but the burning feeling that went down his throat with it helped him forget his past if even for a few hours. For him, that was enough. He sat on a lonely stool near the back of the bar, music flowed softly thorough the air. The atmosphere seemed to be relatively calm, he decided to stay.
He signaled the waiter for a glass of wine and then rested his hand against his cheek, his brown eyes staring at a drop of water that laid in the wood as he waited for his drink. Alexander was ashamed to admit that this wasn't an unusual Sunday night for him.
After a while, when Alexander was two glasses in and about to order his third, a figure sat down on the stool next to his. Alexander took a moment to consider him. He had messy curls around his face and brown golden skin accompanied with bundles of freckles. With a defined jaw and toned arms, Alex had to admit the stranger was quite handsome. And then he turned towards him.
Hazel eyes.
Alexander was certain he had never seen this man before, and yet his eyes wore such a familiar glint to them. They shone with dreams.
"Are you alone, too?" The man asked, attempting to start a conversation.
"That's right," Alexander responded. "Gotta find a way to get rid of the memories,"
The man smiled, a dimple on each cheek.
"You too?" Alexander nodded. "Someone I might know about?"
"It's unimportant," He answered. Alexander wasn't fond of letting people know about his past mistakes. His own guilt was enough. "What about you?"
The man shook his head, he almost looked regretful. "My name's not exactly well-known,"
"Do you wish it was?"
"I gotta admit, I do,"
They ordered more drinks and shook hands.
"Alexander Harper,"
"Jace Lawrence,"
Hours passed quickly, and just as quickly Alex found himself taken by Jace. He was passionate and bold, his laugh was private but clear, and every once in a while he'd let out an amused snort. He also seemed to be torn in between talking about his past life and keeping it locked inside of him. With curiosity Alexander wondered who could he had been, and a part of his brain kept reminding him how much he was like his dear John. He took another shot.
When the conversation slowly started to get more flirtatious, he realized this wasn't a normal Sunday night anymore. This was more like a Thursday evening. But better. Jace definitely made things better. His tipsy brain was making it harder to not ask a bold question. He really wanted to know how it would feel to be under Jace, maybe on top of him. He just wanted to have him anywhere. Desire started burning in his stomach, and by the way Jace's eyes kept glancing at Alexander's lips, he had the feeling the sentiment was mutual. He made a move. Before they knew it they were stumbling inside the freckled man's apartment, limbs tangled together in the mist of desperate desire.
•••
The light that seeped through the curtain proved that this would be a sunny day. Alexander stretched lazily on the unfamiliar bed sheets with contentment. Last night had been amazing, he felt as if a thousand bricks just fell from his tired shoulders and now he could finally breath. How much he missed being in John's arms, and now there he was.
Wait—
He sat straight up, looking at the sleepy person lying next to him. It was just Jace, beautiful Jace with his dopey smile and brown golden skin.
But that was wrong. He could swear– it just– he had to be—
It clicked.
"John," He chocked out, tears spilling down his face without any control. He was there, his Laurens. After so many years of looking and begging and suffering and he was just,
There.
Alexander fell on top of him.
He wrapped his trembling arms around John's now freckled chest and buried his tearful face in the crook of his neck, not wanting to let go. The sudden movement woke his dear boy up.
"Wha— Alexander?" He asked drowsily.
"John."
The man sat up straight, Alexander still clinging to him. "How did you—!?"
He looked down at him; Alexander looked up. Their eyes met.
"Hamilton," Alexander nodded with desperation. "Alex."
Between giddy laughter and tears, their lips finally found each other.
"We'll meet again
don't know where
don't know when
but I know we'll meet again
on some sunny day"
