"Phil?"

seven

TW: self-harm / blood

~~

I hadn't come out of my room since that night with Phil. I kept hoping he'd show up again, but the only glimpse I'd caught of Phil in those last three days was reliving the kiss in my dreams.

My depression seemed to only have gotten worse. My wrists were once again littered with fresh new cuts. I thought Phil and I had something. Apparently it was just nothing to him, I don't know exactly.

My wrists itched and burned again. I locked my bedroom door. I locked my bathroom door. I found my blade. And I let the metal dance across my skin once again. I couldn't stop crying throughout all of this

After a while, I couldn't breathe. I layed on the floor, the blood seeping from my arms. I was curled into a ball, begging and praying for Phil to just come back again.

Eventually I had passed out. I couldn't see clearly or straight anymore and my breathing was too labored. I blacked out.

By the time I woke up again at about 10am, I felt gentle hands tracing my back.

Shit, I thought, mum picked my locks. I'm never going to hear the end of this again...

I rolled over to face whoever it was before closing my eyes. My eyes were tearstained, bloodshot, and my vision was still blurred from all that happened the night before. So when I opened my eyes to see black hair, I was confused.

I quickly realized it was Phil again. I sprung up and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

"Philip Lester, you little cock-sucker, I swear to God if you ever leave me on a note like that again I'll... Damn you, you twat!"

He layed down in bed with me again. How I had missed that familiar scent he carried, feeling his warm breath across my neck and ears while we were sleeping. I hoped he would never leave me again.

I turned to face him while half asleep, staring at his lips for a while. I leaned up, gently pressing my lips into his, once again tasting vanilla. He stirred enough to press himself more into my lips, my figure.

Our legs became entangled, his fingers dancing through my curls that formed while I was first sleeping. For once, for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy. I never wanted this moment to end.

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Woah. It's been almost a year and I've actually updated something.

Sorry about that, guys. But some of you know how these things go. When I started this, I was about to start junior year. School got busy, taking up most of my time, so I could only get small stuff out at dragged out times. But that summer, I spent more time hanging out with friends enjoying whatever was left of my childhood, and kinda forgot about Wattpad for a while.

But hey, I gave you guys something, at least. I hope you enjoy it! I don't think I'll keep this going for too many more chapters, but stay tuned as I might write some more tomorrow!