BTS Smut: Desperate

Part VI. An Angel

Jin laid on the makeshift bed he had created on Sandeul's couch, trying to force himself to get out of bed. It was going to be a long day of filming for the music video, "Fake Love." He hated that song, hated the lyrics and the fact that he had to sing about something so personal. He remembered what RM had said to him the night Jin had first read the lyrics.

"What's the new song about?" Jin peered over RM's shoulder at the chicken scratches on the paper.

"It's about us," RM said absentmindedly.

Jin read the lines underlined in red on the page:
I wanna be a good man / just for you
I gave the world / just for you
I changed everything / just for you
But I dunno me / who are you?

Jin felt his insides curl. "It's about us? Or about me and Jungkook?"

RM sighed and turned his chair around. "It's about Bo, yes. Are you mad about that? You know we can only write honest lyrics if we write about what we know."

"Then maybe you should leave the writing to Jungkook. I don't think he would appreciate being the inspiration for a song titled 'Fake Love,'" he nodded at the words at the top of the page.

RM grimaced. "Look, this song is a catharsis for us as a group. It's a story about all of us because, whether you want it to or not, we are all being affected by it."

"Who's the doll?"

Namjoon blinked. "What?"

Jin pointed at the lyrics. "'Try to erase myself and make me your doll.' Am I this doll?"

RM put his face in his hands. "Do we really have to do this?"

"Are you going to tell me or should I rip this paper up into tiny pieces?"

RM looked up at him; he'd had enough. "You want to know who the doll is? It's all three of you: Jungkook changing into a boyfriend to keep Bo; Bo trying to be Jungkook's savior when all she wants to do is run; and you, acting like you're all happy and strong when we all know that you're hurting. Do I really need to say more?"

"You fucking think you know everything, don't you?"

"I know I see a lot more than most."

Jin's eyes scanned the paper quickly, taking in all the bitter lyrics sprawled across the page. He pointed at the margins. "Why are you calling Bo a liar here? You actually wrote her name, Namjoon."

"I did? I didn't mean to, honestly."

"Are you blaming all this on Bo? It's not her fault. You said so yourself that she wants to run!" Jin shouted tersely.

"If she could just stop lying to herself, stop encouraging this lie of a relationship —-"

"How do you know it's even a lie? We don't know, she could be madly in love with him!"

"Then why is she sad all the time? You'd have to be blind not to see that. And poor Jungkook... All he wants is for her to look at him but she can't because... because she's too busy looking at someone else." RM looked pointedly at Jin.