Am I Okay? [Incomplete]

Chapter 5

Temptation. The feeling lingers as I sit across the room from the bag. The pink rosy bag that fills me with anxiety.

I lean forwards to grab it but then I stop. What if he tells me he doesn't wanna be with me? What if he's telling me he doesn't want anything to do with me? Is this his nice way of doing that? I don't wanna repeat of what happened last time.

I sit back, the feeling of temptation leaving me and the feeling of annoyance filling me instead. I'm pathetic. I'm useless. I CAN'T EVEN OPEN A GOD DAMN BAG. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I lay on my floor, curled up in a ball, trying not to reach to that drawer. I know if I reach for the cursed object all I'm gonna do is raise more questions and regret. I won't leave anymore cuts or marks on my skin.... for now. I feel like a useless mess, but I know I can do better.

~~~
*phone buzzing*

"Hello?" I answer softly without looking at who is calling.
"Hey, I wanted to beat your alarm to it hehe" I instantly recognise that kinda raspy, deep voice as Liams, "Did you open the bag yet?"
I try to go on to tell him about how i felt yesterday, but I almost puke trying to bring the words to my mouth, "no," I say simply, "sorry, ive been really busy, and it's not a priority to me right now."
"Well then," he's blunt, but in a funny and sarcastic way, "I see where I stand."
"I'm sorryyyyyy," I giggle over the words, what happened to feel way I was feeling about 2 minutes ago?
"What are you doing right now?" He asks
"Well, pretty much nothing important, just talking to you."
"Oh I see," He laughs, "not important am?"
"Hmm, haven't made my mind up on that one yet," I respond to his silliness with my own, not quite understanding what's happening to me, "why did you ask anyway?"
"I was wondering if maybe you could open it now..."
The words send shivers down my spine and give me flashbacks to yesterday, which cause even more flashbacks to my pain and struggle, somehow, I end up on the most destroying day of my life... My dads death.

I fumble over my words and can't figure out what to say, he notices me hesitating and so he says "pleaseeeeee, for me?" I'm grabbed by his neediness. I ignore the pain and head towards my gift, no clue what's about to happen. I sniffle from the tears running down my face and he asks me what's wrong. I don't know what to say so without thinking I say the first two words that come to mind - "I'm scared."

He tells me not to worry but that's not easy. I open the bag and see a wrapped up box and a card, "what do you want me to open first?" I question.
"The present, I hope you like it."

I pull the box out of the bag and my heart beat starts growing, louder and faster, louder and faster.

But then, I take a closer look and a warm feeling fills me. It's as if he knows me so well, Disney wrapping paper, he couldn't be more right. I tear it at the tape so I don't destroy the weirdly beautifully wrapped gift, I see a plain box. Now I'm anxious and confused.

"I'm confused," I tell him to fill the silence.
"Just open the box," He responds
"Okay...."

Opening the box seemed like the hardest part, why? As I open it in begin to see fluff, which leaves me more confused as I open the box slowly to keep me from being overwhelmed.

It's a teddy bear. More precisely, the one I pointed out in the shop window when we were out in town last week.
Suddenly my tears of pain, turn to tears of happiness.

"Thank you," I can barely get the words out. I wanna tell him how much I love it but I can't even form the words.

He tells me now to read the letter. I'm hesitant but I start reading;

Everyone in school sees you as a freak. But I don't. I've never met anyone more beautiful than you are. My friendship with you has only been a matter of moths but you're truly the best person I've ever met. I knew from the minute I saw your pale face, cute brown eyes and crazy red hair that I'd fall in love with you. And falling in love with you is exactly what I'm doing. This may sound cheesy but you're literally my best friend, my world, my everything, and every minute I'm not with you, I'm still thinking about you. I am so glad that I found you because I honestly don't think I could find a more perfect human, you may hate every single thing about yourself but I'll never understand that because you're perfect to me. I love you so fucking much, will you be my girlfriend?

"That's the cutest thing I've ever read," I state through more tears of happiness
"Well?" He says, "what do you say?"
"Yes. I'd love to be your girlfriend."