Stucky / If i could tell you

Blood Moon

"Come on Buck, we're going to the cinema, there's a new movie and I want to see it", Steve woke me up with these words and stormend into my room. I looked at him "What time is it", I just wanted to take a nap. "It's 4:30 pm., the movie starts at 6:00 pm, so get your ass up and take a shower. See you at 5:30 in your Car". He laughed and walked out of my room. I got up and took that shower, today was a quite good day, i felt free and happy. After Steve brought me back from Wakanda, I had to live trough a lot, i wasn't very happy. But Steve was always there for me and we often do something together besides our regular work. That's exactly why I'm not totally destroying myself. He is my motivation and I'm glad that we are doing something again today. 

After the movie I got into the car and Steve sat down on the codriver, this movie destroyed us. So why I had to suggest something like "Ant-Men and the Wasp". We didn't spoke much on the way from Queens to Brooklyn. I just drove but after some time I rememberd that today is a blood moon and I wanted to see it. "Steve tonight is the blood moon, let's find a nice place, as usual". Full of enthusiasm he said "I have a place in my mind but we have to walk a little?" "It's okay if I can park my car safely." he smiled and navigatet me. We wen't the way up, Steve went ahead and I followed. I tried not to strumble. Yes, the WinterSoilder was sometimes clumsy as fuck. Steve walked smiling up the hill a little out of town. He helped me up the last piece because it was hard to keep my balance with such a heavy metal arm upwards. When I got to the top I couldn't breathe. This place was so perfect and Steve was also perfect, as he stood on a tree stumpand and he looked towards the lights of the city. I had to admit he was always something special to me but he was so straight that I didn't even dare to think about kissing him. He looked at me and asked if I could take a picture of him. Gladly, so I could look at him even more closely, this perfect figure to this kind character. We sat down on a stone and he told me about Sharon Carter, exactly the one he kissed in Leipzig. Oh I loved to hear from her (irony). But I wanted to help Steve so I listend to him, he never had a real girlfriend and he was so shy. So I tried to help him with my experience. The horizone turned red and it looked so beautiful, suddenly Steve got up and took a picture of me "You look so cute", he was sugar. He asked me "If you can do one more of me, how am I supposed to stand?", "You always look good no matter what you do". Fuck I said that out loud. He came to me and hugged me "You are always so sweet".  Yes, sweet but not more, I loved and hated it at the same time. But at least I got a hug I loved every physical contact I had with him, it justmade me happy for hours. I fell safe in his Arms, it makes me wanna live a little longer.

 After some time we went back down and to the car, we wanted to see the blood moon and drove to a hill on the other side of the city and there it was wonderful. The moon, the stars and in the background the lighting of the weather, how romantic he should have done it with Sharon. Now I feel badly and wanted to solve the problem with Sharon even more. I helped him and was glad that I could touch him sometimes. But my heart kept bursting into a thousand pieces, thats normal. At half past 12 we drove back to the apartment,"So you meet her in the group then it's easier". He was motivated, I tried to suppress my grief, which was easy, I am the master in suppressing feelings but when we were at home and he started writing with Sharon rightaway, it was too much for me. I ran into my room and let my tears run free. Hewas just straight and he always will be. I will allways be the bigger brother, thats okay. Because life without him would be more worse and would kill me even more.

To be continued.............