Lights Out

🖤Cₕₐₚₜₑᵣ ₜwₒ🖤

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I sat in my room with my red blanket crying my eyes out looking at my mother's picture wishing she was still here to comfort me. Thoughts running through my mind as my eyes beganed to wonder looking around my room,Then a knock at the door caught my attention.

Ariana: "Violet please open up".

Me: Go away Ariana your not gonna help solve the problem neither can melanie .

In the midst of her wanting to talk to me I got a text from Barry .

As I finished off the text, ariana kept irritating me by knocking on the door so many times that I gave in.
I hope out of the bed opening the bedroom door seeing ariana's face looking at me as if she was worried sick about me. But deep down inside I know her and melanie dont give a single fuck about me or my feelings.

Ariana: Can we talk?

Me: sure, why not your in my room anyways.

Ariana sits on the bed with one leg tucked under the other looking at me with a straight face.

Ariana: look I know your going through a really tough time coping with your mother's death. But violet sweetie you gotta stay strong and fight this . You can't stay sad all the time because you'll grieve yourself to death.

I rolled my eyes in disgust..

Ariana: Girl dont rolls your eyes.
What I'm saying is your not alone when my grandpa passed away from cancer last year it was the worst thing I've could've ever imagined that sometimes I would think that I was dreaming like trapped inside of a nightmare. But I realized that this wasn't a nightmare or was reality. I've been to therapy 10 times but hey I had to cope with it and I managed to get through it. Sometimes I'll have my days where i think about him, you've seen me on stage. But what I'm really really really trying to say is your mother wouldnt want you to be in this type of state, she would would've wanted you to move forward.

As ariana was telling all of this tears streamed down my face like and endless stream of water. She was right but deep down inside something kept telling shes wrong.

Ariana: And your mother was also there for my mom too
Me: Yeah I know .. I know

Ariana: So what I want you to do is go back and apologize to melanie ok ?

I look at her for a minute shaking my head yes hopping off the bed out of my room down the hallway to the kitchen. I saw melanie looking down at her phone as if she was trying to forget the whole argument.

Me: Look I'm really sorry about earlier today, mel it's just that since mom passed away it's been really tough. I miss her .

Melanie : it's ok we all have our little breakdowns once in a while.

She walked over and hugged me

Melanie: I just want you to be happy in life for your mother.

I walked back down the hallway into my room closed the door. I set my phone for 6 PM in the afternoon so I could meet up with Barry at his place . I had a vinyl record player so I put on Amy winehouse's Back to Black, layed down with my hair spreaded out on the pillows and closed my eyes and went to sleep .