The Diary

I.

Chapter I.

Always the same

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"I had a dream where I saw an angel, he looked just like you. And I was too afraid of losing this dream."

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Classic day. I am tired of everything, it's always the same. I wake up, I eat my breakfast and then I go to hospital for my daily work.

Being a nurse isn't funny and it's hard work but I miss the adventure. And even a little bit danger. I always get the same patients. Always the boring ones. I clean wounds, treat fractures and mostly I have to listen to every life trouble they have. Always the same.

And when I get home, as the older daughter, I have to help with every house work. I clean, I cook and I look after my little sister. I think about moving somewhere else. Somewhere where I'll be myself. But I can't leave my family.

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Dear diary,
Today, as always, was boring. I think I'll never find happiness in this world.
I came home and I already had to do so many things. I feel like a slave. I am 18 years old and I haven't seen anything in my life. I've always been stuck in my house, only able to go to my job which was the only recreation. I really don't want to live like that anymore. I can't. I feel awfull. And it's killing me.

I want more from life, is that so wrong?

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"Amelia wake up! Your friend is here! You should go to work!" I only heard my mother from my sleep yelling at me. "I am awake. " I loudly replied. Suddenly, my little sister ran to my room and started to scream and messing up my things like an ignorant brat. "Get out of my room Natalia !" I yelled at her.

I got dressed and went to our little bathroom. Then I went downstairs and met my friend Emily in our living room.

We went to our work and I already knew what would I do. Always the same. 

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When we get to the work, something was different. More patients were waiting for their hospitalization, more of them were bleeding, and more of them were actually hurt.

I could see family, who lost their hope, mothers and fathers holding their motionless children, young men lacking of their women. Everyone was sad. I've never seen such a disaster.

Everyone was screaming or crying. Except for one man.

"Amelia! Come here!" I heard head nurse and main doctor calling my name so I ran to them.
"This man is really injured. You will help me help him okay?" Main doctor said.
"Okay." I replied and looked at the man lying next to me.
"Everything is going to be okay." I whispered to the man.
He looked me in the eyes and then he fell asleep. He fainted.
.
.
.
.
"He's waking up!" I said to doctor. "And he's screaming from pain."
"Okay, but I can't give him any medicine."
"Are you sure? I think he's suffering."
"Stay with him please. And clean his wounds."
"Okay."

Doctor left to another patient while I was sitting next to the man's bed. I got a bucket of a water and a rug and I started to clean his wounds. I assume it hurt him, but I tried to calm him.

While I cleaned his wounds, he tried to get up from bed but I stopped him. I looked into his hazel eyes and he tried to speak to me but his voice was too weak.

"You should rest." I said to him.
"I don't have time. I can't afford to rest." He replied.
"Your health is more important."
"My profession, my responsibility."
"What profession could be more important than health?"
"Why do you have so many questions?" He asked and smirked.
"I'm just curious." I smiled. "I'll be back with some medicine." I said and he nodded.

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When I came back, he was sleeping. I let him sleep and I wrote medical report. Suddenly I saw him staring at me.

"How did you sleep?"
"I had a dream where I saw an angel."
"An angel?"
"He looked just like you." He looked me in the eyes and said. "And I was too afraid of losing this dream, that I didn't want to wake up."
"But I'm not an angel."
"You are, in my eyes."
I wanted to say something but doctor interrupted me.
"You are lucky, young man. Our nurse just saved your life. You would have a sepsis without her cleaning your wounds." I blushed as he continued.
"I am very grateful." He smiled at me.

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Dear diary,
Something different happened today. In hospital, there were many people, hurt and sad. And one of them I was interrested in the most. His hazel eyes, his brown hair and the way he spoke. Everything in him was making me more curious. Even his point of view which scared me.
But it was his opinion on the work what scared me the most. The way he talked about his work? It was more important than his health. Why would he risk it? And why would I care?

There is something on him that I can't ignore. But do I want to tangle with a man of which I know nothing?

I want to know him better, but there is a chance that I'll never see him again.

And that idea is killing me.

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