Fear The Unknown

Free

Standing over his crib, I do not regret my decision. I did what I believe was best for him and everyone else, and I could not subject my child to such cruelty that I had to endure.  

My father had work everyday but I dreaded the times he would come to the house early or had days off. You see my father is a monster, and at times I would picture horns on his head much like the devil.

He was always so sadistic to me, trapping me in the basement for days, chained to the cold cemented floor. Of course he only did this when I disobeyed him, but other times it was beatings to satisfy his anger or himself. But that wasn't what made me hate my Father.

When he wasn't working, he would come home drunk off his rockers and most of the time he would hallucinate and believe I was my mother. Me and mom were always told that we looked so alike, it was uncanny but when this happened, he took advantage of me, thinking that I was the woman who he loved the most. No matter how many times I screamed and begged him to stop, it went by ill ears and now I had become so use to it, I had stopped struggling and let him do what he wanted with me.

That might sound horrid but it's my only means of survival, I couldn't fight back, not when he was stronger and more wiser than me.

All throughout my pregnancy I hoped this baby would be so pure and untainted. I didn't want this baby to turn out like my father and have someone else succumbing to the fate I have. The world is such a cruel place, and this soon to be child will not grow up to become apart of it.

As I stood over my 2 month old child Elijah, I couldn't help but look at him. His sea blue eyes glistened in the light. He looked so innocent, but I knew he would not become that, not when he looked exactly like him.

I couldn't take the risk. If he looked like him, he would be like him and no one should have to suffer like I do.

With my hand over his mouth I raised the knife that had been in my jeans and stabbed Elijah. I didn't stop at just one, but when the blood had started to coat my face and clothing in a sticky like layer I paused once the cries had stopped. Caressing Elijah's cheek, tears started running down my face.

"Your finally free my darling Elijah, it will be alright."

Looking down at the bloodied knife I plunged the knife into my abdomen, a cry escapes my lips and with one more strike, I weakly fell onto the floor, laying in a pool of my own blood. As my eyes started to flicker in and out of consciousness, I smiled.

"I'm finally free"