LOVELY * JOBA

twenty.

December 25 / Champion House

"Hey Matt", I call out as I make my way to the room. But then I realize I shouldn't have even been home this late and that's the moment I realized I fucked up. Sure I was able to go out but by now it was midnight and there's no way Matt would let it slide. After all he is my big brother and he is supposed to be watching after me.

Matt comes into my room and sits on my desk chair. "You're were supposed to be home before it got dark", he says.

"I know sorry. I was out with Joba and then Sahar was at this party. She got kind of messed up so I told Joba I'd go with him to pick her up", I explain hoping the reason is valid for an excuse.

Matt raises his eyebrows and gasps an 'oh'. "Are you and Joba a thing now?", he asks. I'm sure Matt knows we are.

It'd be kind of impossible to not think that we would blossom into a relationship together. Before it would have a been hard to see and hard to imagine for me but I guess sometimes I just cancel out all the good possibilities that could come to be.

I blush and just look around my room in attempt to change the subject. Yes Joba and me are together now but I'm still new to the 'relationship' phase and frankly, I don't wanna talk to my brother about boys and my feelings. That's way too sappy.

Matt rolls his eyes at my 'response'. He tilts his head towards the door gesturing for me to follow him. He leads the way outside into the backyard.

We sit on our patio set and enjoy the cool breeze. Matt reaches into his pocket pulling out a pack of marlboros 27. He lights one up, inhaling and breathing out a fog of smoke.

My brother has been smoking since he was sixteen and god I don't know how he does it. I start to cough loudly turning my head from him. With my parents gone, of course he's taking this opportunity to do what he wants.

He laughs at me, "you don't want one Billie?"

"i don't want lung cancer", I say defensively. So much for wanting to protect me.

"That's funny", he inhales some more. He bends over and taps the cigarette against the floor, allowing it to turn off. He brings back the subject of Joba and I, "Listen, I'm okay with you and Joba dating. But I don't want you to think you can start doing all this crazy shit with him".

"That's good to know but I also didn't ask for your permission", I say. It's silent for a while, "besides Jobas not that type".

"Well don't go around having sex", he says smirking. Gross. Never.

"Shut up Matt. I'm sure you and Tavia have done it so don't be hypocritical", I gently slap his arm. I make it sound as if I want to but in reality I'm not ready to obviously. I'm only seventeen for crying out loud.

Matt stays silent.

"Well I guess soon", he says, softly.

"Hmm.." I mumble out of loud. I don't mention it again seeing as he is obviously not gonna tell me more about it.

"Well I don't plan to, by the way. If you were thinking we would. Heck, I don't even think Joba and I would I mean...", I say.

"We're gonna graduate soon too so I don't know. I just don't want you to get too attached. Joba has plans, big plans. We all do".

"Like what?", I ask turning to look at Matt with furrowed eyebrows.

"We want to move to LA by the time summer starts".

Well damn. That hurts.

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