we went out of the restaurant and walked to a small park where we sat down on the gras.
i crossed my legs and looked in the darkness.
there was no single noise, we just heard the wind blowing and felt the cool air.
i looked at ethan who was sitting next to me, pulling gras out and tore it in many small snippets.
"ethan? are you okay?"
i layed my hand down on his shoulder and he put his hand on mine.
"yeah, i am, i'm..just thinking about..something"
he stroked about the gras with his hand and looked at me then.
his eyes sparkled in the moonlight.
i analyzed his face, his eyes, his full perfect red colored lips and his scar at his cheek and i kinda got reminded on charlie and his scar at his eyebrow.
"i..have to tell you something evelyn"
he said quietly while looking into my eyes.
i looked at him in confusion but nodded to make him keep talking.
he breathed deep and broke up the eye contact.
"you know.."
he bit his underlip and played with his fingers.
"hey, ethan, i won't judge you, no matter what you're going to say now"
he ran his hand nervously through his hair and sighed.
"okay i um..i know that we don't know eachother that long but..i..ugh you know, i really like you and..i'm not sure about my feelings right now.."
"woah, wait, do you mean you're not sure if you feel more for me than just..friendship?"
i asked and swallowed hard.
"yeah that's exactly what i mean"
he looked up and met my eyes.
"i'm sorry ev, i don't wanna ruin things between us but it felt wrong to cover what i'm feeling about..you"
i nodded slightly.
"yeah..it's okay but..ethan you know that i can't give you this feeling back"
he looked at the floor and began to pull out gras again.
"hey, eth, look at me"
his eyes met mine and i stroked with my thumb about his scar on his cheek
"i..what..what happened with your cheek?"
i whispered and kept stroking about it.
"nothing important"
he turned his head and looked forward in the darkness.
"don't wanna talk about yourself ?"
i asked and layed down on my back and watched the stars not expecting an aswer.
"no, not really"
he aswered after a short break and layed down too.
"listen"
i said and crossed my arms under my head.
"even though i can't reciprocate your feelings, i want us to stay good friends, i love you ethan but there's nothing more than friendship, i'm sorry"
he exhaled audible and stood up
"yeah i know, thanks"
"what are you doing?"
i asked and leaned on my forearms
"i should go home"
he answered and looked down to me
"oh..i..ugh..okay i'll come with you"
he just nodded and helped me standing up.
we walked silently side by side until i broke the silence
"but..you're not mad at me or..whatever?"
"no, of course not, i'm just tired"
he answered while looking on the floor.
he brought me home by car, we didn't talk that much.
i entered my house and just fell down on my bed.
"ugh"
i sighed and thought about ethan.
yeah, i really like him but i kinda fell in love with another person.
very short chapter i know but i just wanna make a short update that you dont have to wait for the next chapter that long. and also have i just started with writing the new german story so be patient with me :)
