♣ Ƭhe Łevi Ƈhronicles ♧

Update ♡

How long has it been since I've written anything. Since July? It's been months!

Merry early christmas, only 4 days and if you haven't noticed I deleted all of chapter 12 (Levi x ??? ||Smut?|| ||I Hate This||). The whole very personal story I wrote using Levi as a placeholder as per suggestion by my therapist for an outlet of relief. I took the break right after writing it because I really needed to find myself and all of the memories and trauma started to eat away at me as if I was back reliving my childhood again and everything was still happening and I ended up just getting worse. So I decided to take a step back from everything and just shut myself away for a while.

I finally removed it because I've learned to move on and not necessarily forgive the acts done to me, but as of now I can confidently say that I'm in a much better place than before! I haven't harmed myself with burns, cuts, or stab wounds, I don't constantly cry over and over, My nightmares don't happen as often. I don't look in the mirror and feel sick and disgusted, I can actually pin point things I like without berating myself afterwards! I don't skip meals as often and I haven't tried to commit in the last 2 months! Just a lot of things have lessened and I'm in a more peaceful state of mind. I've found things I'm passionate about, interested in and want to achieve and I've learned how to cope with it all. Which I guess is good! It's all been slow progress and I'm still working on things and sometimes it does get difficult to wake up, or i'll have a few bad nightmares about it. Although I don't think I'll ever fully "get better" in a general sense. I'm still happy from my progress, it's almost as if a spark was lit up inside of me that was ripped away 11 years ago!

I have missed writing stories immensely though, and I finally think I'm ready to dive back into the creative recesses of my mind! I will still write angst and sad stories though, it's mainly what I like and resonate with as overly happy stories have always been uncomfortably unrealistic to me. But who knows, I might throw in a happy one just for fun! I still have stories to finish, and also a lot of ideas that popped into my head during my break!

Anyway! In-case anyone is still reading my stuff, or even still keeping up with me, I just want to say thank you so much! Like I've stated before, whether you're a silent reader, or an active one. I sincerely appreciate every single one of you! And I don't think I can convey how much even just a single person reading my stuff and enjoying it really means to me. I simply write for fun, nothing more than putting my thoughts and mental state into written fantasy so it makes my day when I can invoke emotions within someone simply from my writing alone.

Well that's been my update for now! Hopefully soon I'll start posting again!

~*Until Next Time Lovelies*~