I feel that familiar nervous feeling in my abdomen, like dozens of butterflies flying about. We step out of the car and enter the building. I try to contain my breathing but it's becoming difficult. I- "Aven Reena" the assistant called me in.
I walk down the hall, legs feeling weak. She takes my blood pressure and I can feel the pulsing of blood through my arm. "One, two, three"... I count as I try to distract myself from the dizziness that seems to get worse by the second. As it turns out, I've lost more weight. For my height of 5'3 I'm 99 pounds, but a month ago I was 8 pounds heavier...it seems that my condition is catching up with me. I now sit alone in the exam room, wondering if this is all there is to life. The doctor comes in and hands me a sheet to fill out and then leaves.
One that I've read several times before.
Please fill this sheet out according to the past 2 weeks
Place a check in the boxes that apply
⬜I feel anxious most of the time
⬜ I have felt like a burden on others
⬜I often avoid places that cause anxiety
But some I must lie about:
⬜ Have you ever attempted suicide?
⬜ Have you ever felt suicidal?
I feel that no one needs to know me like that. No...not like that. No one must know about the evil that has possessed my thoughts and mind.
The doctor has upped the dosage on my medication...a relief. I dont say a word on the way home.
