Wizard (Martin Garrix Fanfiction)

Chapter 18

Madi

I sit, alone in the middle of the bed, hugging my knees to my chest and feeling incredibly alone. Martijn is mad about something or at me, and I have no one else I can talk to in a country I've never been to. 

I do my best to fall asleep, but I wake up sweating and panting only an hour later - Dylan decided to visit me in my dreams again. He got closer and closer to me, every step I took away from him did nothing, and eventually his hands were all over me in the worst way.

There's a knock on the door.

Martijn

Shortly after falling asleep, I wake up to the sound of rustling and heaving breaths. Even through the closed door between us, I can hear Madi breathing heavily. From the sounds, I think she's having a nightmare. I'm so reluctant to get closer to her again - I feel like I'm too attracted to her, and it's gonna eventually bite me in the butt. 

I hear whimpering and can't fight myself any longer.

Pushing myself off the couch, I knock on the door. "Mad Dog. Are you okay?"

Madi

"Y-yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Just had... a weird dream. You know," I reply.

"Oh. Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks hesitantly.

"No. That's okay. Thank you, though."

After a moment, he replies, "No problem. Goodnight, Mad Dog."

Why is this so... weird? So awkward? I sit up in the bed for a long moment, not knowing what to do. It feels like our exchange hasn't ended. And some part of me can still sense him, feel that he's so close. It should be comforting but it just makes me want him so badly.

I don't hear him pad away from the door, but I am too lost in my thoughts for that to be an accurate deduction. 

I let myself fall backwards, prostrate in the bed, not knowing if I'll be able to fall back to sleep after that horrific nightmare. For some reason, this nightmare was so much worse than what actually happened because nobody came to rescue me in the nightmare.

Martijn

I'm still standing outside Madi's door, wrestling with myself. I want to go in, comfort her, hold her. She's had a rough couple of weeks, and it's partly because of me. And I'm selfish, and I want to be close to her.

But... Elise. I'm so, so, close to getting her back. 

A tiny doubt enters my mind. What if Elise doesn't want me back?

Following this is a little voice: No. She will. She loves me. We haven't been apart that long. And when we do get back together, no one ever said I have to tell her about Madi. She never has to know, and she'd never find out. I'll be back living in Amsterdam, touring the world with her by my side, a new city, a new country, every night. 

I don't even know why Madi is the one that causes me the guilt. I made out with, and intended to go further with, several girls since Elise and I split up. 

That's not true, the intervening voice speaks up again, dammit. You know why she makes you feel guilty. It's because you're starting to have feelings for that girl, it sneers, and Elise is the only one you've ever loved.