Always on my mind (girlxgirl)

Heartbroken

I groaned as i woke up with a pounding head. I felt really sore so i just layed there in my bed. What the hell happened yesterday??. I tried to recall what happened as i started to remember my dad and the photo booth and the bruise on my cheek. Maybe it was all just a dream?? I flinched as i touched my bruised cheek. Yup it was definitely not a dream. I layed there for an hour just thinking. Then i decided to go to the kitchen because i was starving. but i stopped when i realized i had no clothes on. Oh um yeah i forgot. I started to blush really hard and put some clothes on.

" you woke up late today??" My mom questioned as I entered the kitchen. " Yeah. I just didn't feel like getting out of bed." I told her ,smiling slightly. " why?? are you ok??" She asked as she started walking frantically to me, Touching my forehead. " I'm fine. i'm just lazy" I told her. " You're always lazy!!" She said, shaking her head. " Am Not!!!" I defended myself. She gave me a 'You know it's true' look. " Ok Maybe a little..." I mumbled. She gave me that look again. " Ok fine. i am lazy!!!" I admited. She smiled in victory.
" I'm gonna fix you some breakfast."

" Mom can we talk??" I asked her. " Yeah sure. about what???" She said as she glanced at me. " About what happened yesterday..." I told her. She furrowed her eyebrows, sitting in front of me on the table. " What Did happen yesterday?..." She asked carefully as she took my hands. I told her what exactly happened yesterday and she listened, never once interpreting me. " He hit you?!!" She said angrily as she lightly touched my bruised cheek. I nodded my head as a tear rolled down my cheek. " That's it. He has gone too far!!" Mom screamed angrily, slamming her hands on the table.

" What are you going to do??" I asked her.
" I'm gonna go talk to him!! I can't let him get away with this!!" She yelled ,furious.
" Mom No!!! It's not as if he will listen to you!! He will hurt you and i don't want that to happen!!" I reasoned with my mom.
" What am i supposed to do then??!!" Mom said, Throwing her arms in the air. " I don't know. Nothing!!" I told her. She sighed slowly and rubbed her forehead. " I need some time to think about this" Mom said , sitting down on the table. I nodded my head at her and ate my breakfast.

" I'm gonna go talk to Alexis." I told my mom as i got up from my seat. She nodded her head at me. I went outside and into Alexis's front porch. I knocked on their front door and it opened revealing Alexis's mother. " Oh Hello jane." She said. " Hi." I replied as I smiled at her. " Alexis is upstairs in her room. " She told me ,smiling gently. " Oh ok" I said as i went upstairs and into Alexis's bedroom. I knocked on her door and she lazily opened it. " Oh jane!! Hey!!" She said surprised. " Yeah hey!!" I said, smiling at her brightly. I went inside her bedroom and sat on her bed.

" About yesterday..." I started as i blushed slightly. " What about yesterday?" She asked, Her eyebrows knitted together. " Don't you remember??" I questioned her, a frown on my face. " I do but i'm trying to forget..." She mumbld as my smile turned to a thin line. I felt my heart drop to my stomach. " But why?" I asked her while looking deeply in her eyes. " Because i'm just NOT gay!!" She exclaimed, crossing her arms around her waist. " B-but we made love..." I told her as i felt tears forming in my eyes but i didn't let them fall because i absolutely hate crying in front of people. " I was drunk jane.. I don't even like you like that." She told me. It was getting hard to hold back my tears as i stood up and went to stand in front of her.

"But I love you , Lex!! which is terrifying because it happened so damn fast and i never felt that way with anybody else!! and i just- just!! Screw it!!" I admitted as i leaned in to kiss her. We kissed passionately and slowly. " We can't Jane!!" She whispered as she pushed me back. " But-but w-why??" I asked desperately, tears clouding my vision. " You heard her!! She doesn't like you like that. She was just drunk out of her mind." A voice replied and i turned to the voice to see Alexis's mother standing in Alexis's bedroom door. She crossed her hands and stared down at me with disgust. I shaked my head and turned my attention to Alexis. " I am not gay!! and I can't be!!!" She told me as she looked anywhere but my eyes.

" Look me in the eyes and tell that you don't feel a single god damn thing for me!!" I told her as i cupped her cheeks. She glanced at her mom then fixed her gaze back to me. " I do not feel a single god damn thing for you jane!!" She spoke as she looked deeply in my eyes. I felt my heart shattering into pieces as i slowly backed away from her. My whole world came crashing down as my body froze. I swallowed the lump in my throat and rushed to her bedroom door, wanting to get the fuck away from here.

I felt myself being yanked backwards as Alexis's mom grabbed my arms harshly. " Oh and stay the hell away from my daughter!! If i see you ever EVER going near her, I'll make sure you'll regret it!!" She warned while staring at me threateningly. I clenched my jaw and balled my fists tightly. I started back at her blankly and snatched my arm out from her tight grip. I then turned around and started running, out from her house and into the streets. Where you may ask? I don't even know but i just wanted to get as far away from her as possible. I was heartbroken.

I broke into a crying mess as soon as i got outside. My brain is still trying to comprehend what happened just now. I kept running and running to wherever my feet led me to. It's how i cope with my problems: I run away. I know it doesn't solve the problem but it surely made a great escape. Sometimes getting away is the best solution. Just running away, Every step you take means one less problem to worry about.

After 10 minuets of running around. I found myself outside of Brooke's house. Brooke opened her window and stared down at me. " Jane? is that you??" She asked. I looked up at her with my teary eyes. " What's wrong?? Wait don't move. i'm coming down!!" She spoke as she closed her window. Not even a minute later , The front door swinged open. She ran to me and i met her midway, hugging her tightly. " what happened, sweetie?" She asked gently as she rubbed my back.

" I-i can we go inside first?" I asked her. She nodded her head and we went inside, going straight to her bedroom. I told her what happened and she comforted me throughout the whole time. " Hellloooo" Lucas said as he slowly opened Brooke's bedroom door. I smiled sadly at him. He hugged me and sat down next to me. Brooke already called him and told him what happened. " I'm gonna kick her ass!!" He said angrily,crossing his arms. " No, Lucas. leave her alone." I told him, trying to calm him down.

" But-" He said as i interpreted him. " Please lucas..." I begged him in a small voice. " Alright fine.." He said sighing and uncrossing his arms. " So who wants to watch some classic old Wizards of waverly place??" Brooke suggested, trying to lighten up the air. It was our favorite tv show when we were kids. We nodded our heads at her and she smiled. She put it on and we all layed down on her bed. I missed hanging out with them.

" Ahh i remember when jane would literally repeat a scene just because Selena Gomez did something cute in it." Lucas said, chuckling slightly. " Hey! don't judge me!!" I told him, giving him a look. " I'm not!! I'm just saying that you were one hell of a weird child." Lucas said. " Meh. true " I told him, shrugging my shoulders. Brooke giggled at us. We went back to watching the show.

We hanged out for quite a while and i went home. I opened the front door slowly.
" Jane can you please come to the living room??" Mom asked. I went into the living room and sat down on the couch next to her. " Listen dear i've been thinking today and i made a decision." She said as she held my hands. I nodded my head at her and waited for her to continue. " I decided that we're going to move. I'm tired of the constant fighting. I'm done." She told me. i don't know what to feel about it.

" I found a job and a nice big apartment that we could stay in. He can't bother us anymore. " She told me carefully. " okay " I agreed, staring at the floor. " okay?" She questioned. " Okay. Let's do it. Let's move out." I spoke as i looked up at her surprised eyes. " Great!! We'll leave on tuesday. You should start packing right now." She said, smiling at me. I nodded my head and i went to my bedroom. I started packing the things that i don't use daily into a box.

I went downstairs and ate dinner with my mom. After dinner i went upstairs and into my room. I glanced at my window to see Alexis staring at me. Her face was strained with tears and her hair was a mess. But She still managed to look absolutely beautiful. I stared back at her with an expressionless face. I walked slowly to my window, not cutting our eye contact. I closed the curtains of my window and went to lay down on my bed. After tossing and turning for an hour, I finally fell asleep.