Letter to my Love

I'll Always Love You

Dear, love

I want to start this letter off with I Love You! I know you probably don't love me anymore but I love you and I always will. You mean the world to me and I wanna tell you but I'm scared it will ruin what we have, and I know we don't have much but what we do have is special and I wanna keep you in my life weather it's as a friend or more...today I was looking through our old messages, I just wanna know what happened to forever and always? And to never wanting to lose me? And to me meaning more then anything to you and that you've only loved one other person as much as you loved me? What happened? You have no idea what that meant to me, what you meant to me...what you mean to me. You've done some pretty shitty stuff to me but I always go back to you, you can always count on me being there for you. It's pretty weird that all it took for me to fall in love with you was one pointless class, one class that no one cares about, that no one even participates in, but after that day this class meant everything to me, it was the pointless class that I fell in love. I remember going home that day praying that you'd text me because I just really wanted to know how you felt about me, I remember how happy I was when someone texted me saying that you wanted me to text you. I remember those first few months, I remember how happy I was, how when I was with you I never wanted to leave you and when I wasn't with you I wanted to be with you. Although it seemed like we had it perfect there are still pages it hurts to look, like you leaving me for that other girl, I cried forever that day and that day was also the day I realized who my real friends are, the ones that bitched you out when they seen you, I know that pissed you off cause you told me it did, I told you I tired to talk to them...but I lied, it felt good to hear someone saying the things I wanted to, actually I've wanted to say a lot of things to you, but I haven't cause I'm scared I'm gonna lose, I'm scared that I'll lose you completely, I don't want to live my life without you, and I know I have to in a way, but in a way I don't, we can stay friends and you can be in my life still. You still flirt with me sometimes and I like it, a few days ago I told you I was gonna come tape your helmet to your head, and you said I could on one condition...I wouldn't leave. I know that's not much, but to me it's a lot. I just wanted to jump in the car and go straight to your house. I want you to know that your everything that I've ever wanted, your the best thing that's ever happened to me and everything that I ever told you was 100% true, you are the only person I ever wanna be with, your the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've lost all of my friends because of you and I still chose you, no one wants me to love you, but I wanna love you, and I've realized that if you make me happy, if talking to you makes me happy, then I'm gonna talk to you, you have no idea how many conversations I've had with people about how I love you and how I don't want to stop loving you. I miss you, I miss hugging you, I miss kissing you, I miss talking to you everyday, I miss being with you I just miss everything that we used to do and everything that we used to be...I still wear the necklace you gave me, I wear it everyday, if I'm not wearing it then it just doesn't feel normal. It hurts to look at other couples doing the things we used to do, it hurts seeing them look at each other the way we used to look at each other, it hurts so much. I know this sounds weird, but the last time we were together, laying in your bed, I looked over at you, and I don't know how to explain it but it was just your facial expression, I haven't been able to forget it, every time I look at someone, I see you, and It makes me miss you more. I hate it when people mention your name, I hate it so much, like I just miss you more then you'll ever understand, more then anyone will ever understand. I need you again, I need to cuddle you, and need to feel you hug me again, I need you to hold me in your arms and make me feel safe like in that pointless class, I need you. It's hard for me to talk about this, it's hard for me to remember everything we used To do, it brings back all the times that I was happy. It's hard for me to see other people so happy, cause I'm not happy, I know it sounds stupid but I feel like the only way I can be happy is with you. I know I'll probably never get you back, and that's what hurts the most, the fact that I'll probably never see you again, it's just not how I want to live my life, but I guess Ill have to learn how to. I love you so much, I love you more then I've ever loved anyone, I love you more then you'll ever understand, and I hope that you know I'll always love you and I'll always be here if you ever need anything.

Love, your ex

Xox

A/N

Hey guys, It's the first story sort of thing that I've written on watt pad so I hope you like it... Tell me what you think.