Indestructible Unity

2

Waking up it was the funeral it was still surreal to me that they were gone.

I believe that this was my fault.

They were both innocent. I  got out of bed going into my bathroom that connected to my room i turned the shower on peeling out of the night clothes I waited for the water to get hot steaming hot before I stepped in the shower.

letting the hot water run down on me I bathed up once I was finished I turned the shower water off, I grabbed my towel tightening on me opening my bottom cabinet I took out my anti-depressants pills I took two of them helping them go down I drunk some water. I brushed my teeth and washed my face

I grabbed my undergarments putting them on I put my coconut body oil on following by my baby blue dress. It was short in the front but it had a long flow in the back I placed on my white Micheal koras six-inch heels, I stood at my vanity taking my pin curls down I took my hand through my hair combing them out.  I added some lip balm and then my clear glitter lip gloss.

I placed on my white Rolex that Sammy had brought me for my fifteenth birthday party it had exactly fifth teen diamonds in it he said each year he would add another one. I smiled at the thought sighing hard I placed my diamond earrings on that he had gotten me for my eight-grade prom. Laughing at the thought  of how bad he acted that somebody wanted to take me he wasn't with it at all but I was glad he was there to save me

A knock came to the door shaking me out of my thoughts. Come in. Walked in came my mother she looked beautiful our outfits were identical the difference was her hair was straightened and she had on make up but it was very light it almost looked natural but you could see the glow on her face but her eyes were dark and glossy.

Look at my baby you look beautiful, I can see him now saying where you think you going?  Momma, I don't like her outfit it's too short, I don't think she needs heels on she can go put on some Jordan's or something else and lipstick. AD are you trying to give me a heart attack and make me beat somebody son up!

I laughed because my mommy sounded just like him and that's exactly how he would be at the moment eating a pack of bright size skittles we both said in unison. And Shawn my baby would have just been following Sammy smiling.  He loved him some Sammy.  Ma, I ride with Sammy me go to the store with Sammy. Ohh my boys  They will never die only if you let them .

We are going to be okay in due time my love she caressed my cheek smiling letting a lone tear come down. I wiped it away and hugged her I love you, mom, they're here just not physically. 

I grabbed my Chanel clutch that I had begged him and my mom to go half on since I passed and they surprised me by getting me one I'm going miss my brotherS but they're with me forever.

I took my mother's hand placing it into mine we walked out together reaching the bottom of the stairs I saw my dad dressed in an all-sky blue suit but his blazer was white he had on some white loafers.

He had on glasses I couldn't see his eyes but I know they were bloodshot red.  I wonder if it was from.crying or being high.

My mom picked up our little brother kissing his cheek as as he was dressed like my dad.

Is everyone ready?

We nodded my dad took my arm we had made it to the family car that included me, my mom, dad, lil brother, and my grandparents on my mothers' side. We got on the ride was silent.

Pulling up it was packed beyond they  had a line of people trying to get into the church.

I placed my glasses on. Before stepping out of the car, my grandfather held on to my hand as we walked into the church I sat down at the front pew seeing his casket their I had to let my mother know not to get him cremated.
FLASHBACK
So are we still going to cremate them ? WHAT! i looked at my mother as if I was hearing my fathers words right. Yes we are going to cremate the
and I will keep their  ashes in the china cabinet saved as a plaque. No we are not he wanted to be put in the wall and we will not cremate my brothers and if I have to pay for it I will.
Sonya, you don't have a say so in this my father looked at me as if he had said so in this.
One thing we are not going to do is not give my brother his wishes his final wishes at that.  I don't say much but I will vouch in my brothers' honor by any means necessary. Yes I do have a say so in this he was my brother and my best friend, And we should give Shawn the same treatment as Sammy because they are together now.
Lets be real here you Don't have a say so in this you are not here,  you were never here you despise of him because he protected us something you couldn't control he stopped letting you beat mom and you hated it because he told grandpa and you got to to to to put out. You are only here now because he's gone and so is  Shawn so no you don't have a say so in this because you are not paying for anything.
You don't do anything but beat on us and talk shit now momma is going to accept you back with open arms but I'm not.
Mom if you cremate them i am going to leave and I'm never coming back or am I forgiving you and anything in that nature.
So let's stop acting like a big happy family because we were not. My mom was shocked just as much as i was because of my actions but i was not going to let them get away of doing Sammy any kind of way.
Okay, I guess we will be putting them in the wall. Good, i took my water bottle walking away from the family room. So you not going to tell her anything huh Samantha?
No, she is going through it and she was right about everything so get over yourself.
Flashback over.
The pastor came and did his opening he prayed on the family. Some one came and did encouraging words.

Now It was my turn to speak i had written a poem in their honor . I walked to the front all eyes were on me and although i was nervous i knew that i had to do this I wanted to do this. It wasn't perfect but it was something for him.

Brothers
Blood couldn't make us any stronger
We fought like Mayweather and pacquiao
You were my Bonnie to my Clyde
Family version
Our love ran deep like the ocean.
The moments we shared felt like a forever lasting movie
We laughed like Martin and Gina
But I can say that that your bittersweet love will never go away.
Oh my brothers those smiles will never go away.
The childish moments you guys share together was like Tommy and Cole
Your time here was cut short your 
But your love is still here and forever
We love you oh brothers

I will try not to cry in your honor you knew this day was coming ohh Sammy .
You prepared yourself and me for this very day and all although you left so tragically you smiled.  You did it you graduated and on Monday I will be in the bleachers waiting for them to call your name and I will shout scream just like we had practiced together.
Don't cry for Sam nor Shawn because their not gone but in my eyes they went home.
I heard that a person dies only if you forget. And I will never forget that smile, that face, your love.
Who could forget about the infamous  Sammy? ohh now we know we can't forget about the infamous Shawn. Shawn was my superhero  he loved to run around it his super man cape and  his pamper saying I'm coming to save you I'm coming to Save you.
So celebrate and stop crying it's hard but they came here to love to protect honor  and guide  and Sammy had done all  of those and still is not finish and Shawn  was right behind him but now their adventure is over now they will do it from far away sitting high and watching low with our king  at home and with peace I love you best friend And baby brother.

I smiled and walked away going back to my seat.

My mom hugged me that was beautiful my love they are smiling over you saying yeah that's my sister my baby sister you see her, huh I know you saw that. And you know Shawn is right with him

I laughed letting the silent tears fall. As his basketball team came up doing a dance in his honor it was beautiful. 

Now it came to my grandmother singing his favorite gospel song Smokey Norful I need you now. She sang so hard she begins to break down so I got up and started singing for her then came my mother the church sung with us and all I could do was smile.
Sammy's basketball team came and did a tribute to Sammy's honor. Some of the kids from the daycare did a cute little song for my baby Shawn. 
I smiled because this is what he would want for us to come together and be happy grateful and honor them And remember those two amazing boys.

The viewing of the body was the hardest part for me. I had held it together all day. Now that it was time go to the viewing of the body and I  was about to lose it family kept hugging and sending me their condolences as they finished viewing the body. I got up to go see my brothers nobody was in here but me.  I stared down at their body's letting my tears go, look at my brothers you guys are my angel now.
We had got a big enough casket

God, why does it feel like you knew it was going to happen. I'm happy that you are at peace but sad that you had to leave me to get that peace but I know you are with me and I'm going to do everything you wanted me to do. Thank you for your help love support guidance and once again love. Ughh I'm so mad why are you hurting me like this I want to be mad At you  but I can't because you are amazingly happy and most of all at peace. I took out the skittles and nineteen hundred ones I put it in the casket. I kissed his cold face I love you, Sammy.

I went to Shawn and I put his super man cape that  I had brought in my clutch, I'm going to miss you my baby you were always loving and soo happy. I'm going to miss helping you and let you cuddle with me at night I love you baby boy. I placed some starburst  with four  on hundred ones.i kissed his cold small face. I love you baby Shawn.

They closed his casket l walked away letting them walk his casket as I walked behind him.

We went to the cemetery to put them in the Wall I didn't notice until walking out that had people with signs up pictures of Sammy they even had news reporters.

They wanted to hear me speak but I couldn't get on tv and talk about my brothers' death especially how he died on me.

We did a balloon release following by a releasing of the doves.

When it was all done my parents were doing a repast at the house I made it home not wanting to be bothered so I just locked myself in my room. Spending the rest of my day in there.