Baby Don't Stop

Chapter Twenty Two

            Taeyong tried once more to get the timing right on their dance. But he always seemed to get going too fast.
            "Aghh!" he shouted as he got frustrated and threw off his sweatshirt.
            'It's okay, let's take a break.'
            'No! Again.' Taeyong signed as he talked. He shouldn't be taking his frustration out on Ten who was so kind to agree to help him but he knew he could do better and the fact that it was taking him so long was awful. His headaches weren't so bad right now so he had no excuse.
            'Taeyong, please.'
            "No-"
            There was a noise as the door opened and their manager entered through the door. "Ten, I need to speak to Taeyong. Privately."
            Ten could feel the mood drop after his manager spoke. "Okay," he turned back to Taeyong. 'He wants you to go with him.'
            He watched Taeyong nod before he left.
            Taeyong followed the manager back to his office. The manager rubbed his hands on his pants nervously before he spoke. He started to speak quickly and Taeyong had to stop him before he got too far.
            "You might want to get a pen and paper or your cellphone out. I can't read lips yet." He chuckled a little. He and Ten had been practicing with little to no success for the past week. Mostly it had just ended with Taeyong staring cluelessly at Ten's lips.
            The manager pulled out his phone before looking around himself for a chair to sit down on. When he found one he sat down with a humph and started to type. Taeyong could see him struggle with what to say as he pressed the backspace over and over.
            Finally he passed his phone to Taeyong. 'You still don't have any hearing?'
            "Nope, nothing." Taeyong passed the phone back. His heart started to sink with the forboding of what his manager would say next.
            Once more it took his manager a long time to type what he needed to say. 'The CEO has talked with me and has decided that it would be best that you temporarily stepped down as Leader of NCT. You could chose who you would like to lead in your stead, but as you are unable to lead practices or even perform right now it is best for all of NCT that we had someone else lead until your hearing returns or if it doesn't then we can test out who we need to have permanently replace you.'
            Taeyong felt that he had just gotten used to being deaf. He had been working hard to try to practice with the others and watch when he couldn't do more. He knew that this day might come as well but to have his manager actually put it in words so soon. It felt like turbulent waves crashed against the walls of his mind. Threatening to pull it down. He was left speechless.
            He sat there still holding his manager's phone. He tried furiously to control his emotions. So many emotions. Anger, frustration, sadness, and disappointment. They all swirled within him and every emotion demanded it's turn to be on top. His hand rose to his face, as he looked at it he could see it was shaking and he pressed it to his mouth to hide that fact.
            What was he supposed to do? Was he just going to move on? Would they eventually demand he leave NCT or just be there as a mascot that they trampst around at parties without having any real purpose.
            His eyes watched as his manager reached out his hand to touch Taeyong's wrist.
            Taeyong realized it was time to finally say something. "Yes, sir. I understand. When will this happen?" He passed the phone back to his manager and withdrew his hands into his lap. His eyes would no longer meet his manager's. He was so close to tears for so many reasons. Taeyong knew that if he let himself he would start to cry and right now he needed to be strong.
            Deep breathes.
            Taeyong saw the phone slide into his view once more.
            'We will announce it after the broadcast in a couple days. Please know that the moment your hearing returns that your place as leader of NCT will be reinstated to you. But we are doing this because it is what is best for the group.'
            Taeyong nodded without looking up. "I understand. If that's all I should get going." Before waiting to see if there actually was any more, Taeyong had pulled open the door and was jogging down the hallway. His only thought was to get away. Far away where no one could see how effected he was.
            He reached the end of the hallway before his vision became blury; he tried to get out on memory alone. But soon he ran into a wall he didn't remember being there. But walls weren't soft and had arms that wrapped around him. Walls didn't have hands that rubbed his back. Or a steady heartbeat. Taeyong knew just by the fresh soap smell that he had run right into Ten's arms.
            Taeyong didn't want Ten to see him being weak. He had to quickly dry his tears on the back of his hand and tried to extract himself from Ten's arms. "I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just- dust or something in my eyes." He finally brought his eyes up to meet Ten's.
           There was something there, like Ten already knew what look to give Taeyong to make him melt all over again. His look almost said 'are you really?'
            "I. Am. Fine." Taeyong stood up straighter. The last thing he wanted was to look weak in front of Ten. He had been able to be so strong for so long he wasn't going to falter now. "I told you, it was just some dust."
            Ten didn't know what was really wrong, only that something, or someone had made his Taeyong cry. And after all that Taeyong had been through, he never deserved to cry again.
            'Tell me the truth.' He signed.
            'Nothing to tell.' Taeyong signed back. He started to turn away. He had stopped himself from fully breaking down but he didn't know how much longer he could keep it up. The emotions were already threatening to boil over once more.
            Any other time Taeyong would have been able to hold it all in, but with his splitting headache as well as everything else he could feel the walls breaking down.
            Taeyong's signing was still lacking, so he switched to speaking. "I'm going back to the practice room." He extricated himself from Ten and started walking past Ten.
            Ten wasn't about to just let him go though. He reached out his hand and grabbed Taeyong's elbow.
            At first Taeyong stayed facing away from Ten. But Ten pulled on his arm and slowly and Taeyong let himself be pulled back to Ten. His subconscious wanting Ten to comfort him even though his mind was telling him not to let Ten know.
            But even though he kept telling himself to pull away, he still let Ten take him and wrap his arms around Taeyong's neck. Once Taeyong felt Ten holding him tight he took a deep breath in. "They told me I'll be stepping down as leader of NCT." Ten's arms tightened reassuringly around Taeyong. One of his hands started rubbing back and forth slowly on Taeyong's shoulder. Finally Taeyong let the tears that had been brimming in his eyes let out. He didn't have the willpower to hold them back. Not in Ten's arms. This safe, warm place he had found brought him so much happiness and love.
            Taeyong's arms slowly rose and clutched around Ten. His hard cast prevented him from really holding Ten but it still felt so nice to hold and be held. Right now it was just what he needed. His sobs were silent but they still shook his frame.
            This was the first step. This meant that the company didn't think that his hearing would ever return, and as time went on Taeyong was also starting to lose faith in his hearing coming back.
            Finally after they stood there holding each other for what felt like forever Ten pulled away and laid his hands on Taeyong's shoulders. They stared into eachothers eyes for a moment before Ten let go and signed to Taeyong. 'Let's go.'
            Ten grabbed Taeyong's hands from where they were still around Ten's waist. He guided Taeyong back to the practice room where he gathered their stuff.
            The room held so much more meaning to Taeyong now. There might come a day soon that would be his last day in this room. He would leave NCT permanently. He would leave his dream. That's what it would come to, if his hearing never returned.
            Meanwhile as Ten gathered their stuff he was filled with guilt once more. Guilty of changing Taeyong's life forever. Guilty of taking away everything he loved.
            He didn't let himself dwell on those thoughts much as he knew tonight Taeyong needed him to be the strong one. The one that took charge and made things better, the one who comforted and reassured. Ten would do all of that for Taeyong and more.
            'Where are we going?' Taeyong asked as Ten handed him his jacket, wallet, and keys.
            Ten didn't answer right away but instead grabbed Taeyong's hand again and guided him out of the room. In fact he guided him far out of the company doors before he finally typed something on his phone. Taeyong felt a buzz in his hand that meant he had gotten a text.
                   Ten
                        I had this whole date planned
                        out for some time soon, but
                        I feel you need a real pick-me-up.
                        So which would you like first?
                        Arcade, walk in the park, or
                        clubbing?
                   Taeyong
                        Clubbing? How?
                   Ten
                        You'll see. Which first thou?
                   Taeyong
                        Arcade I guess
            Ten looked up from his phone and smiled at Taeyong before dragging him behind him once again.
            He didn't stop until they were well inside a mall and headed towards the basement.
            When Ten looked back at Taeyong his face was full of excitement. His grin spread across his face and Taeyong could feel his mouth mirror Ten's smile.
            Taeyong chuckled. They finally went through a door and down some stairs. When they finally reached the bottom they were in a room completely lit by arcade games, computer screens and some blacklights.
            The smells of the place once again hit Taeyong's nose. He could smell sweat and electricity in the air. There was more but those were the two most dominant smells.
            Taeyong glanced over at Ten who was paying for admission. This is just what he needed to help cheer him up and take his mind off what happened earlier.
            Ten walked over to him. His now blonde hair caught the light as it shown behind him. Taeyong reached up and grasped Ten's hand. On it there was something. Taeyong took a closer look. It was their couple ring.
            Something stirred within Taeyong. A certain pride, He liked it so much that Ten was wearing their ring. It made it a little easier to believe his sister's words.
            He couldn't help the smile stretch across his face.
            Ten carefully placed a bracelet on Taeyong's wrist and pulled him towards a car game.
            They both sat down in the seats and got ready to race. The seats were set up to play on one game so that people could race each other. Quickly things got competitive as they were lightly shoving one another trying to get the other to mess up or crash. In the end Taeyong was victorious.
            "Yes!" he cried with a shout and stood up. His face bright as he turned to look at Ten. "I won!"
            With a wave Ten stood up as well and dragged Taeyong over to where there were some shooter games.
            Ten also pulled out the pad of sticky notes and a pen he had begun carrying around ever since Taeyong had got home. On it he wrote:
            Zombies = SM CEO
            He pulled the sticky note off and stuck it to the front of the game. They both drew the pretend guns and set to shooting.
            Ten had been careful not to show it but he was furious at their company for doing what they did to Taeyong. They didn't even give him a chance to see what he could do before they were canning him like discarded trash. Ten didn't realize when the game ended, he kept wanting to shoot at the zombies made CEOs. It was finally Taeyong's hand on his arm that made him lower the pretend gun.
            'Sorry.' He signed quickly. He didn't want Taeyong to worry so he dragged him over to a claw machine. 'I want one.'
            They quickly pushed in their coins and Taeyong asked 'which one?'
            Ten pointed to the small lion in the back. Out of all the animals it was the one that reminded him the most of Taeyong.
            His lion. His protector. From Eunjin, from the world, even from himself.
            He stared at his lion concentrate on the machine. It only took Taeyong two tries to get the lion for Ten. Ten couldn't help but clutch the soft stuffed animal to him tightly.
            The two of them continued to play games and have just some fun with each other for a while before Ten looked at his watch. If they didn't leave now they were going to miss it!
            Without consulting Taeyong he dragged him away from the game he was playing and towards the exit. Up the stairs they went and out of the mall.
            Once they were walking out in the open Taeyong was so curious why Ten had pulled him out of there in such a rush he couldn't keep quiet. "Where are we going?"
            Ten didn't answer, instead he just looked back at Taeyong, his face smiling and happy.
            Was he that cause of that smile? Was that smile for him? Taeyong wondered as they walked into a park. Ten slipped his hand into Taeyong's and they weaved their fingers together.
            As they got closer, small twinkling lights decorated their path at their feet and the tree branches above their head. More and more gathered along the path.
            Taeyong loved the sight of it all. The little lights made him feel as if he was walking amongst the stars.
            Their path opened up to a pavilion where people milled about and at the center there was a large Carousel. At the edges all around the space small gazebos decorated with the same lights stood. Some were further off and some were closer to the activity.
            Overwhelmed, Taeyong spoke out loud. He knew it was time. "I want to dance."
            Ten smiled and lead him over to one of the empty gazebos. It was quite close to the other people and so Taeyong shook his head and pulled Ten to one that was more secluded and out of the way.
            When they stepped up into the gazebo Taeyong pulled out his phone and went to his music. He might not be able to hear the music but Ten would and that's what Taeyong wanted him to hear. The song was Gaho—stay here.
            Taeyong tapped his ear as he pressed play on the song and turned the volume up. He couldn't let his nerves get the best of him. He reached out his casted arm and pulled Ten's mirrored arm to meet his. Slowly the arm of his good hand slipped around Ten's waist and he shuffled forward till their chests were touching. His hand flat against the small of Ten's back. Deep breathes.
            Slowly they shuffled around in a circle. Their eyes staring deep into one another.
            As Ten listened to the beautiful song he was overwhelmed by the lyrics. His hand that wasn't holding Taeyong's rose up to rest on Taeyong's shoulder.
            Ten's heart felt every word of the song. It sang right into his soul and tried to tell him all the things Taeyong couldn't.
        I need you, Please stay by my side
        Please stay by my side
        If you stay like that, like that
        Please wrap me again in the words of your belief in me
            Finally as they kept dancing the words of the song finally being put to words that made sense in his brain. The words Taeyong was trying to say.
            Neither of them spoke but refused to break the silence and music between them. Ten allowed his hand to reach up and brush Taeyong's cheek.
            The burning words that Taeyong had, the reason he had done this was stuck at the front of his throat. He didn't want to say. He just wanted to be here but a part of him needed to know.
            "Ten?" he whispered. He watched Ten's eyes lift from where they had been watching his hand on Taeyong's face. Their eyes connected and Taeyong spoke, his voice nothing but the softest of words. "When I look at you, my heart skips a beat. When you're gone, I'm wondering where you are. When you touch me, I get goosebumps. When you're close, I can't breathe."
            Ten didn't speak but he didn't need to, his eyes spoke for him. He didn't know what Taeyong meant.
            Taeyong continued, "I have never felt this way, so for a long time I didn't know what I was feeling. But now I do. I know this feeling so well because it overwhelms me every time I am with you. I feel it coursing through me even now more than ever." Taeyong took a deep breath in before saying the final words that would either condem him or save him. "Ten, I'm in love with you."
            Silence. The overbaring silence that Taeyong had finally become accustomed to but now he was so desperate to hear something the silence felt just as uncomfortable as it had been when he first lost his hearing.
            Neither of them realized they had stopped dancing and just stood there clutching each other and starring into each other's eyes.
           Ten's eyes searched Taeyong's for the lie, to see the true meaning of the words that he was somehow missing. There had to be a catch. Cameras, a ploy, something. There was no way.
            Taeyong tried to wait patiently for Ten to respond but with the anxiety welling within him, he couldn't wait long in the silence. "Ten? Please say something?"
             Lifting his hands from Taeyong, Ten tried to take a step back out of Taeyong's reach. 'Is this a joke?' Ten finally asked. His mind still reeling. He was trying to remember signs as he also tried to process what was happening. 'Where is the camera?'
            "No, Ten I would never." Taeyong reached up and grasped Ten's face in both of his hands. "Listen to me, this is real."
            But Ten's head was shaking in his hands. The possibility that Taeyong returned his affections was such a foreign concept to him that his brain refused to process it as the truth. He just kept shaking his head as he stared into Taeyong's eyes.
            "Ten, please believe me." Taeyong pleaded now. What was he supposed to do? There felt like only one option left. The one thing he had wanted for so long. He pressed his hands more firmly on the sides of Ten's face and pulled him to him.
            He pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss. Taeyong's mind exploded. The hunger he had felt in the hospital, it multiplied ten times over. At first he felt Ten struggle against him but it only took a moment before he could feel Ten melt into the kiss. Taeyong moved one hand into Ten's hair and the other around his back. He pulled away out of the kiss slightly. Taeyong's control was wavering at best. But he was scared that Ten would still push him away.
            Taeyong's eyes stared at Ten's lips.
            Ten spoke, his mouth barely moving but Taeyong thought he said, "Don't stop."
            That was all Taeyong needed to lock his mouth with Ten's once more and deepen their kiss. His hands pressed Ten to him as if he pushed hard enough they could become one. One of Ten's hands rested on his chest while the other grabbed the back of the arm that was wrapped around his waist. As if he as well was trying to pull them closer and closer. Their mouths consumed each other and explored.
            They couldn't get enough. Each wanted more of the other. Taeyong's hand snaked under Ten's jacket. Ten's hand was around Taeyong's neck. Kisses upon kisses where given and taken. In that moment Ten would rather have lost his left foot than be pulled from Taeyong's arms.
             Their kisses slowed after a time as their explosive fire settled into hot embers. Taeyong pulled away first, resting his forehead on Ten's. They stayed that way, eyes closed, desperately trying to catch their breath.
            Taeyong finally lifted his head and looked at the gazebo around them. He had forgotten that they had been fervently kissing in a very public place. He was lucky no one had seemed to notice. Lining the edge of the gazebo were benches, and although he hated separating himself from Ten, it would be best if they went and sat down.
            But no sooner had he turned away then there was a pain that seared into his head. The pain was greater than it had ever been. He didn't realize it till he saw Ten standing above him but he had fallen to his knees.
            Taeyong pressed the heels of his hands into his temples as he tried to stop the splitting pain ripping its way through his head. He could feel nothing but the pain. It consumed his consciousness in a different way than the passions with Ten had consumed him.
            One was like fire warming everything in its path forcing every nerve ending to attention. The other was like ice cracking apart every cell and vein pulling it to pieces.
            Taeyong looked up into Ten's worried face, the concern etched clearly across his whole body. He couldn't help but gasp in air as if that might help the pain. His vision was fading. The pain was going to be too much.
            He reached out to Ten and pulled himself back to his feet. He was fine. He was okay, this was nothing he couldn't handle.
            But as another wave of pain ripped through him he was left helpless. Sagging into Ten as his knees gave out from under him.
            "Take me... To the hospital...." He gasped out.
            After that he was barely aware as Ten slung his arm over his shoulder and pulled him out of the gazebo. He tried to help and walk on his own but the pain was too much at times. They made it out of the park before Taeyong and Ten sat down heavily on the pavement.
            Taeyong let his head hang between his legs as Ten called one of the members.
            "Taeil, something is wrong with Taeyong, can you bring the dorm car and take us to the hospital? Yeah, I'll send you our location. Please hurry, I've never seen him show this much pain. I think it must be really bad." Ten hung up and leaned over to Taeyong. He felt Taeyong's head against the cool breeze of the night. It felt warm but not overly hot. Probably not a fever.
            They waited there. Taeyong on the edge of consciousness and Ten left worrying. He thought about what had just happened between them. His mind just wrapping itself around the fact that minutes ago he and Taeyong had been lock tongued under starry lights. Taeyong had said he loved him. And he meant it. But, but that would mean that everything hadn't been a lie. Taeyong was actually gay? Taeyong had feelings for him? Ten had so many questions but now was not the time to ask him.
            Taeil pulled up along with Johnny and they both helped pull Taeyong into the car. Ten got in next to him and Taeyong's head lulled over onto Ten's shoulder. Taeyong was still taking in gasps of air. But as they drove his breathing started to go back to normal.
            When they arrived at the hospital Taeyong was able to sit normally and started to look around. As they opened the door Taeyong shook his head. "No, I'm fine now. I think we can go home." His head no longer felt like it was splitting open, only a thudding ache remained.
            Ten stared back at him in shock. There was no way that Taeyong was actually suggesting they just leave without getting him checked out.
            'No.' he signed.
            "Ten, don't-" He was cut off by Ten's raised hand as he reached into his pocket for the sticky notes.
            'don't you dare tell me not to worry, I was scared out of my mind. You are going into that hospital and you aren't leaving till I'm happy. Okay?'
            Taeyong looked up at Ten and sighed as he saw the determination therein. Slowly he made his way out of the car. His knees were still weak and he stumbled into Johnny who had to hold him up.
            "I'm fine. I'm fine." He mumbled as he pushed himself away from Johnny. But as he took the steps up to the hospital he stumbled once more. Ten rushed out of the car and grasped Taeyong's elbow. Luckily Taeyong didn't try to shove him off. Instead he leaned into Ten.
They walked together through the doors of the hospital.