I am mine

Chapter 6

Eddie's P.O.V

I didn't really know what just happened, at least I couldn't get my head around it. I waved Chris goodbye with expectations of seeing him maybe later on today.

'Does he know where I live?'

So what? It was probably a one-off thing anyway. I've never really had a fortunate life, I mean yeah, I live in Seattle and have a roof over my head, plus a shitty job. But being kicked out at 19 never did me any favours. I was left with no family, and seeming I moved to Seattle; no friends either. Maybe Chris. We'll see.

"All's well ends well" I said to myself, sarcastically sighing and slumping myself onto the sofa and pulling out the journal of which Chris dropped off the other night.

There was an instant chill that ran in all directions of my mind and body.

'what if he read through it?'

I hesitated for a moment, then I just shrugged and pulled out a pen.

"Nothing to lose" I said to myself.

__________________

A few hours passed and it had reached 4pm. Within those hours I had played guitar and wrote lyrics, composing a song for a band I don't even have. But I like that, the feeling of nobody having to judge you for what you write, it's all on you. Well, as long as Chris didn't look through it.

'Why does it matter so much to you?' I asked myself.

I realised it had mattered so much is because he was the only person I really knew and trusted, and I wouldn't want to lose that.

The feeling of losing what you never had.

I was slowly obsessing over him, everything I did, he was subconsciously on my mind.

I found myself staring into space and dreaming, but I was dreaming of something that would never happen anyway.

'He's probably forgotten about me. He has tons of friends, what am I to him?'

Because I've never really lived a life, I've never loved one. I haven't been happy in so long but when he stayed overnight, it was like I forgot who I am. I was happy and I didn't even realise until he left. We stayed up late at night talking in the darkness, my head resting on his chest as he would occasionally look down, look into my eyes for no apparent reason. I would again space out and dream, but it was of him. I found myself and my happiness in him but it pains me to know he's not even aware of it.

He made me happy for the first time in so long.