Endless roads

Mum

When I was younger, my mum was my world. We were so close. I thought she was the most perfect, loving, caring person in the universe. But then she stopped caring. And started drinking and smoking. Dad always tells us it wasn't her fault, and that we shouldn't blame her, that she couldn't control it. But she could control herself, and I wont forget that. She went to the pub every night, and dad worked nights so wasn't there to look after us. She left Kat who was a tiny baby for me look after, when I needed looking after too. In mornings, mum left me to get myself ready (I was six) for school, and feed and look after Kat. When I was gone, Kat was left hungry and needing changing while mum lay sleeping in a hung over daze, not caring in the least for the hungry, neglected baby screaming beside her. She was not the woman I had looked up to. She was someone I detested. She got ill from the smoking and went to hospital. One day, the hospital called dad and said he must come fast as mum had suddenly lost a lot of oxygen and was desperately struggling to keep breathing. We got in the car and dad was driving so fast to the hospital. It was quite far, and ten minutes later we came onto the motorway. Dad didn't slow down, and a car came suddenly into our lane, right in front of us, and we crashed into it. We were taken to a hospital on the opposite side of town. We were luckily fine, but by then, it was too late. The hospital mum where mum was called again, bearing bad news. Mum had passed away. Of course, though this is what I have been told by dad because I don't remember very well, I miss her a lot and would give the world to get her back, but she hurt us by not caring anymore. Kat was desperate for feeding and mum ignored her. All the time. Its lucky Kat was okay. And mum  never apologised to us before she was gone.