The Story of Us (Ashton Irwin)

2

Why can't I just grieve about my boyfriend's death without people telling me that I need to move on and get help?! I don't want any help, okay?! I want to sit in my room and cry and look at the pictures of us and just be left alone! I want to sit at my computer and watch foreign movies on Netflix -- like I used to do with Ashton -- and eat tremendous buckets of cookie dough ice cream! Why can't anyone understand that?!

I lay on my stomach with my face in my pillow. I'm crying. I want desperately to be wrapped in Ashton's warm arms with his lips on mine.

My phone has been ringing nonstop and I finally get ticked enough to answer.

"What?!" I bark into the phone.

"Wendy?" A voice says.

I look at the caller ID. It's Luke. I put the phone back to my ear.

"Are you calling me to tell me that I need to move on and get help?" I accuse.

"Um, no." Luke says. My eyebrows shoot up. "Calum is making Michael and I go to the movies with him. He thinks we need to get out. So, can you come? I don't want to be stuck with them."

"I want to lay in my bed and cry, Luke. So no. Maybe next time." I hang up and I slap my phone back slab on the nightstand.

I continue to cry. My shoulders move up and down and nose starts to run. I breathe heavily and I tell myself to stop.

Ashton died...

He was coming back from the tour...

I was the last person he'd talk to...

∰

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Ashton asked me as the man over the PA said that we were going to continue moving.

"Depends," I grinned. "Why do you want to know?"

"So I can ask you on a date without a boyfriend/fiancée/husband in the picture." A smirk had played on his perfect lips.

"Why would I have a husband? I'm nineteen and in college."

"So do you?" He pressed.

"No. I'm not in a relationship."

"Great," Ashton smiled. "Would you want to go on a date with me?"

"Mmhm! Where?" I asked him.

"For me to know and for you to find out."

∰

I clean up my face and I change into sweatpants and a sports bra. I look through my shirts as I find one that stood out. Ash's ripped Nirvana t-shirt.

I clasp a hand over my mouth to limit my sobs. I pull it off of the hanger with shaky hands and pull it on. It still smells like him. I hug myself and I walk around my room. My head is pounding and my eyes hurt.

Someone, most likely Madeline, knocks on my door. I clear my throat and put on my best 'I'm fine' voice.

"Yeah?" I call.

"Wendy?" It wasn't Madeline's voice. It was a familiar voice. It was Ashton's.

I pull open my door to see Luke standing there. Why did I hear Ashton's voice? Am I going crazy?

"W-what are you doing here?" I ask him.

"What do you mean? I came to check if you okay," Luke looks at me with concern. "Are you okay?"

"I thought I heard-," I sigh and cut myself off. "Nevermind. Sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"No worries. If I were in your position I would've done the same thing myself." He says.