band imagines • (emo+pop-punk)

Your not different - Jack Barakat

"I have a confession!" I suddenly blurted out to the four men in front of me.

Simultaneously, they turned their heads to look on me with masks of confusion. “What’s up?” Zack asked for the group of them.

I sighed, and wrung my hands together. Life on tour was tight, so stuffed there was no room for secrets. This one had been weighing down on me for a while, and it felt like betraying the guys by not saying anything. But every time I would just worm my way out of it. I had do it this time though. They needed to know.

"I’m bisexual."

Silence. I looked down at my hands, unable to take the quiet. I didn’t want to see their facial expressions. Deep down I knew that these men, these advocates for being yourself and doing what you’ve always wanted to do, would not judge me. That, however, did not make the process any easier. “That’s cool. I’m glad you told us,” Rian finally said, breaking the silence.

I looked up at them all, and they were smiling. “You must mistake us for terrible people, Y/N, because you look as though you thought we were going to tell you to get off the bus,” Alex said.

"Yeah dude, it’s not a big deal," Jack offered.

"I know, I know, but still I get nervous. It’s not really an easier thing for me to talk about. People have judged me in the past and I’ve kind of learned to be apprehensive," I said, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs, thinking about how people were just straight up dicks.

Zack rested his hand over my shoulder. “Yeah but those people suck, and we’re alright.”

"We’re perfect," Jack corrected with a smirk.

"Anyways," Alex said, "you do you and we still love you."

I smiled at the ground. “Thanks guys,” I whispered, taken aback by how accepting they were. I knew they didn’t have a problem with, but they didn’t even act like it was a big deal. My parents had made a huge show about it, constantly repeating but it’s totally okay with us and treating me like a different person. I liked how they still looked at me as me.

We continued on drinking as before. I felt considerably more comfortable chugging down beers with them after my confession, like there was a lighter load on my shoulders. I couldn’t stop thinking about how well they reacted, and how I felt so loved and cared for in the moment.

Until one of the assholes got too drunk.

"So like, are you the dude or the chick?" Jack asked after having one too many drinks while the other three wandered off into their own conversation.

"What?" I blanched.

Jack leaned closer towards me. “Like, when you get with girls are you like the man? I picture you as the one to strap on the plastic dick. Or is the other way around?”

/He ruined it. He just ruined the whole fucking thing/, I thought, staring at him blankly, completely speechless.

"How many girls have you been with, by the way? I bet you have a lot of threesomes. Maybe you could call up one of your girls and we could have a little fun?"

I stood up. And then slapped Jack across the face. Then I walked away.

What a fucking asshole.

"Dude what the fuck did you do?" I heard Alex ask Jack as I walked towards my bunk. I was fuming, ad though I had slapped Jack, the desire to punch something grew with each second.

Unable to contain my fury any longer, I slammed my fist into the wall, and immediately regretted it. “Fuck!” I yelled, shaking my hand as the skin around my knuckles began to peel off. It was probably sprained. I didn’t really care.

I lied in my bunk for a while, thinking about how pissed off I was at Jack. I knew he was drunk and not really in the right state of mind, but what he said was not acceptable from anyone in any condition. I should have punched him, instead of the wall. 

"Are you okay?" the voice of Zack rang in my ears as he approached me. "Jack told us what he said. He’s being really stupid right now. Don’t take it personally, he can’t even properly speak." 

"It’s just.." I started, trailing off with a sigh. "Why would he say those things? My whole life I had to deal with bullshit like that and I wouldn’t expect it from any of my best friends, you know? Of course I was nervous telling you, but I never thought that would happen." 

Zack wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. “Just go to bed now, and sleep of the anger. In the morning Jack’ll be sober and probably hungover, so you can yell at him then when he has a really terrible headache. Okay?”

I nodded. “Thanks Zack, you’re a true homie.” 

He laughed. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he said as he walked away. 

"Goodnight!"

My eyes became droopy and I fell asleep soon after that, dreamless. When I woke up the next morning, I was faced with the wide brown eyes of the one and only Jack Barakat. The fucker crawled into bed with me. I yelped. “What are you doing?” I whispered. 

"I’m an asshole." 

"I’ve put two and two together." 

He sighed. “I know I was drunk but that was really shitty of me. I promise it doesn’t matter to me at all. What I said was wrong and I hope you can forgive me, because if you don’t I’ll just have to leap off this moving bus. I can’t have my BFF hating me,” he said, giving me a pouty face and wide eyes. 

"Fine, but only because you’re cute." I couldn’t really stay mad at Jack. Out of all of the guys, I was probably closest to him. Even though some times (most of the time) he could be an idiot. He was my idiot. 

"Yay!" he exclaimed, hugging me tightly. "I love you."

"Yeah I love you too, moron."