Bleeding Hearts (Bloodhearts prequel)

Chapter Nine

I spend the weekend in the training center and ignore several calls from my father. When I get back to school on monday, Jason corners me at practice.

"Dude, what's with you?" Jason asks, bumping into my shoulder to gain my attention. "You got a new girl or something? You've been gone all weekend and, man, I'd hate it if you started valuing some girl more than your bros." I just roll my eyes, keeping them on the skinny, longhaired guy standing by the tree near the bleachers all by himself. I try my hardest not to smile and look all relaxed instead. Jason and I are on the field just hanging out before practice starts.

"Dude!" Jason calls and waves a hand in front of my face. I push it away, annoyed, and give him a glare.

"What?" I nearly sneer.

"Are you seeing someone?" Jason asks.

Okay, I see he's not giving up. I make a complete stop, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Man, can you keep a secret?" I frown like I do when I'm honest.

He looks more than interested. "Yeah sure, I'm here to listen. Just fire away, man."

I sigh just for a dramatic effect. "It's my dad," I say. "He's trying to get me to join the forces. He thinks there's this big war coming and that he needs good people to help him lead. Then I told him he's a dumb idiot and that got me two days in his academy as punishment."

Jason raises both eyebrows. "Shit, man. I won't go blabbing about Tricia's party then."

"You just did," I mumble and then I raise my voice again. "Man, can you tell coach I'll be a few minutes late? I actually have to check with my dad before he throws another hissy fit. I kind of don't want to spend another weekend in his stupid academy - and miss this week's game."

Jason agrees without question and hurries off to find coach. I know I can pull something like this off because I'm the star quarterback as cocky as it sounds. Coach will practically do anything for me to stay on the team. He tolerates my being late most of the time. Today I'm taking full advantage of that. All, just so I can sneak up on my boyfriend when I'm sure no one sees. Cory is just walking behind the bleachers so this is my chance.

"Cory," I whisper when I reach him and he whirls around in shock.

"Jay?! What the he--" I cut him off with a small peck on the lips before I pull him with me into the old, abandoned locker rooms. It's an old and rusty place, but it's quiet. Smirking, I lock the door that has this huge crack in it. It's my fault it's there, sometimes when I need to let out some steam like after fight with my dad I usually go kick something or I punch my pillow to a pulp, and this place just happened to be near one time. Luckily, right now is one of those rare moments where I can enjoy life on my own terms. Cory smiles back at me, putting his slim arms around me as I cup his face and kiss him deeply. I back him up against the wall, carefully this time, and let my hands roam over his chest. This is a feeling I'll never forget. I don't believe in a God, but I believe that Cory is my heaven on Earth.

"Mm," he says. "We shouldn't be doing this."

I kiss his neck and nibble a little on his soft spot. I love to see his eyes roll around in his head when he can't find the will to struggle against me. "I don't really care," I get out.

He wiggles a little until he gets me to look him in the eye. "You have practice now, don't you? So what are you actually doing here when you know coach will kick your ass for this?"

"Very simple," I say and kiss his nose. "I love you."

He freezes completely in my arms when the words leave my mouth, that's how stunned he is. "Excuse me?" he says in a voice so low it has to be a whisper. That's when I realize I've never told him that before. Cory puts both hands on my cheeks, frowning. "Please tell me you're fucking serious? Because if you're lying to me right now, then you should just tell me and go practice with your team, I really don't thi--" I silence him by putting a hand to his mouth.

"Will you just listen for a second?" I ask him softly and he looks up at me with these huge eyes that just melts me. "If I was kidding don't you think I'd have bailed by now? Hell, if I was straight would I do this?" I caress his cheek slowly. "This," I continue and kiss his chin. I look him in the eyes. "Or this?" I whisper those last words with my lips not even an inch from his before I kiss him again. I put those words I just said to him into my actions, so he knows how serious I am.

I love him.

"Jay," he continues with very pink cheeks. "What happened this weekend? Where were you?"

I contemplate the idea of telling him. I know he'll freak out, but also that I sort of have to if I want our relationship to work. I didn't actually lie to Jason when I told him I'd spent the weekend at my dad's academy. I just didn't tell him I'd chosen to be there myself. The fact that I had been there as a field soldier was something my dad didn't like. He wanted me to take the leader's course and eventually become the one to control everything alongside him. But I don't wanna do it. If this war everyone's talking about really is going to happen, I will fight for survival, but not on terms of my dad's stupid morals.

I sigh.

"Jay," Cory says to get my attention. "Tell me."

I finally cave. "I was at my dad's army academy." I can see in his eyes that he's about to freak out, so I cut him off. "Hey, look before you go all crazy on me here; I chose it myself - and let's just say my dad didn't take that too well."

Cory gets very quiet now. "Are you going into the military? For real?" he asks me in a very vague voice. Just like that the best moment of my day evaporates and a cold shiver runs down my back. I haven't told him this either.

I close my eyes. "Yeah," I answer. "If the world is getting worse like my dad thinks, I want to fight. I want to do as much as I can, but I wanna do it my way. And besides; to begin with it's only a course where they teach you the basics and stuff. Getting out in the field wouldn't be until in a few years."

"It's still three fucking years, Jay!" Cory yells. "And what exactly are you planning to do after that? Get yourself killed in action on one of the other continents? Get infected there? Are you just gonna leave me here?!" He is glaring me down in frustration and anger, but most of all the fear is clouding his eyes. Being that angry, I'm surprised he hasn't hit me or done something much worse yet.

"Cor, I'm not leaving you!" I argue. "But I'm sick of being my dad's little toy soldier, can't you understand that?"

He lets go of me, eyes on the ground as he runs a hand down his face. I know he's holding back tears. Then he looks at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. "Do what you want," he says. "I'm not gonna apologize for caring either way. I don't know if you remember, but my dad and I are alone for a reason." With that, he just turns around and leaves. I stand there baffled and speechless. I fully remember the day Cory told me about his mom, who had been working in another country as a journalist. She was just supposed to cover the events, but she never made it back. The McDeans were devastated. Cory went into himself for a long period and there was little I could do to help him. I don't remember ever feeling so lost. I also feel lost now. I can't figure out if what I'm doing is right. Maybe telling Cory this wasn't the best idea but keeping it from him wouldn't have done any good either.