Long Story Short

Regret

I've done alot of stupid things in my life but this tops all of them.

I should've listened to the voice in my head telling me to not do it, to push him away. I just had to be hard headed. I just had to ruin a perfectly good relationship.

Many thoughts swarmed through my head as i hung up my last flier.

Missing person

Name: Joanna Johnson

Call (***)***-***, if you see her.

$400 reward

Email us at: jeffery-

"Naomi! Come on!", a voice interrupted my thoughts. I look over to the source of the voice and saw my older brother, Michael, but everyone called him mikey. Next to him was my eldest brother, Mitchell.

"What are you doing? I've called your name five times already. Mom called, she wants us home." mikey said, obviously annoyed.

I looked down, embarrassed. "Sorry." I didn't want to hear his scolding* so turned around and began walking home.

"Whats wrong with you?" he asked rudely. "Are you deaf or something?"

I ignored his comment and continued walking. At this point, i was used to him saying things like that to me. I never did anything because i deserved every word for what i did.

As we walked home I listened to my brothers have a conversation about some dumb video game that they had just started playing. I really wanted to tell them to shut up like I had done so easily before. But that wasn't my place anymore.

I tuned them out and focused on the sounds of the gravel under my feet. Out of all the sounds in the world, the sound of gravel crunching under someone's shoes was one of my favorites. It's soothes me anytime I was stressed or having a hard time. Like now.

I looked up after a while and saw that I had almost bumped into Michael, not noticing that he had stopped.

"Just come on Mikey, doing this won't change anything." Mitchell grabbed his arm, trying to reason with him. I watched as Mikey shook his head and turned to me, an evil glare on his face.

Oh. I thought as I realized what was about to happen.

"No, none of this would've happened if only this piece of crap would've kept her legs closed. How could you? How could you do something like this?! You betrayed your own sister and broke up our family!" I only looked down in shame, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Michael, stop. People are looking." Mitchell tried to stop him from yelling. I looked up and noticed that he was right. Pedestrians were starting to look our way, nosily wanting to know what was going on.

"Do you think I care? This girl deserves to be embarrassed.  All because of her she is gone! She could be dead for all we know and you're sitting here protecting the girl that caused it." Mikey's eyes didn't leave my face. I looked back down, tears welling up in my eyes. I deserved this.

"Who said that I was protecting her? I'm just trying to get you to stop wasting your time on something as stupid as this. Yeah, what she did was messed up but yelling and degrading her won't change anything Mikey! I can guarantee you that it won't." He poked his finger into Mikey's chest, clearly upset.

I watched as Mikey closed his mouth shut. He knew not to mess with Mitchell when he was mad, we all did.

Mikey shook his head and gave me one last glare before storming off ahead of us. Mitchell shook head head and ran a hand down his face.

I decided to finally speak up, muttering a small, "Thanks."

Mitchell looked up at that and shook his head again, giving me a hard look. "Don't thank me..." he then walked away, following behind a still upset Mikey.

Great, he was mad at me as well. But I deserved it for what I had done. I let out a sigh and followed them, but at a distance.

Once we got home I ran up to my room, not in the mood to receive anymore cold looks. I decided to take a shower instead, then changed into something more comfortable.

After, I sat at my vanity, drying my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror for a moment and that's when the tears started to fall.

Here I was, 17 years old, and a complete disappointment to my whole family. In all honesty, I didn't care about what my brothers or anyone else felt towards me.

I only cared about what she thought of me.

The look in her eyes when she caught us.

The hurt and the pain that was evident in her voice when she found out.

Oh Joanna, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I had always yearned for her approval and now I knew that I would never get it. I always wanted to be like her but now that would never happen.

No- she would never do something like this to you. The tears fell down faster.

I remember what it looked like when she had ran out of the door at 3 am the next morning, never to be seen again. I should've stopped her, but the look in her eyes told me that her leaving is what she needed.

Those eyes held all of the pain she felt after finding her baby sister having sex with her fiancé.

Yeah, Mikey was right. I am a no good piece of crap. I don't deserve to be loved.... by anyone.