With You... Always

Tuesday

--Tuesday
            After eating breakfast and getting ready I decided to call Emma to go meet outside so we could go somewhere. I desperately wanted to go somewhere with her it didn't matter where.
           I was about to call her when I heard my phone ringing first. Oh my god I thought, she is thinking about me. I picked up the phone so excited without even looking at it. And I said with the sweetest voice I could pull off, "Helloooo!" I kinda sounded drunk to be honest. I was expecting Emma to say the same thing but instead an angry male voice came through the phone, "Who are you talking to? Are you cheating on my, I swear I'm going to kill you you son of a...", I interrupted him before he could start cussing "No sweetie, I'm just saying hello", just calling him sweetie made me want to throw up. "Okay but still, if you're cheating on me I'll beat your..." Again I cut him before he could cuss, I always do this, I'm used to it, cussing it's not that bad but he says it a lot and it's annoying, especially because he's insulting me. "No!, so why are you calling me?" I tried to sound sweet but it kinda came out annoyed which I was. "Oh yeah that, so I'm inviting you Sunday to this restaurant called Steakhouse Georgia" he sounded drunk, honestly I can't tell anymore sometimes. I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay with Emma and go out with her but then I realized that I can break up with him there. "Okay, is it just you and me or your parents too?", "Ahh I see, afterwards you want to do the nasty, right?, I see you, I mean you've gotten fat so maybe not but maybe if you get me drunk enough I'll accept" he sounded drunk again. I was so pissed at him, he knows I deal with body dysmorphia and keeps saying degrading stuff. For a minute I felt like a wanted to cry but then remembered I had to go to break up with him, maybe he doesn't even deserve that, I should break up with him right now over the phone. "Are you there!!!, only you and me yes! Oh man why are you so stupid come on respond!", His words interrupted my thoughts, I felt very stupid but I still managed to say "Okay I'll be there" I said with most miserable look on my face,I was glad he couldn't see it cause he would've snapped at me and probably hit me and say something like "You look ugly with that face, you have to look pretty for me" I don't know I hated it. So he hanged up the phone and I let out the biggest sight, moments like this made me realize that I really didn't want this or need him in my life, so for sure Sunday I'm breaking up with him for good, at least we'll be in a public place so if he gets angry I can get help from someone at least.
             After that long and stupid phone call I decided to play some music and clean my apartment because it was hella messy. Then I realized I had forgotten my task, call Emma. So I called her, "Hello! Emma, I was wondering if-" I didn't even finish my sentence when she said "Do you think you can come with me to this concert, is this small band called Movements, I would really like you to check them out with me!" She said all excited. Damn even her voice sounded so precious, it made me forget that I had a boyfriend or that he called like 30 minutes ago, damn. "Yes sure! Just send me the location and the time and I'll go", "No Regina, come to my house first, we'll get ready there and then go to the concert, of course if that's okay with you" Of course it was okay with me, but it would be so hard to contain myself around her, especially changing. "It's fine I'll be there, at what time should I be there?" I said kinda worried of what she might think of my body, I hate my body, but I know she's straight so I guess it's okay. "In 15 minutes okay?, bring clothes and makeup cause afterwards we are going to a bar!" She interrupted my anxious thoughts but I didn't even care cause her voice sounded gorgeous, "okay I'll be there in 15 minutes", I couldn't believe I had said that, oh no! What is she going to think about me??!!!
         I was in a rush but at the same time I already wanted to be there by her side, it felt so nice to just be around her. So I hurried up and left my apartment, I decided to change before going cause I was very insecure so I just put some jeans on and a band t-shirt and left running with my makeup bag. 
           When I arrived she received me with a giant smile and hugged me, again, it felt so nice to be in her arms and I didn't even know why, was it her scent? I don't know ugh.  We got ready and after a while she said something that I was scared she would say "Hey, you know what I think you look very good but what about you try this dress" Emma said and went to her closet looking for something she came out all smiling with a tight red dress, why??, she would look so much hotter in that than me, I didn't know what she was wearing though cause she was still wearing pajamas, that by the way looked so cute.
            "I don't know Emma, I feel more comfortable in what I have on" It came out as if I hated myself, which I did but I didn't want to showcase it. "It's okay, but at least try it on for me". Of course I would try on anything for her but not in front of her. "Don't worry I'll help you change if you want" she said. Help me change what did that mean?
"Okay" I said that because I was just so turned on by her, I couldn't stop thinking about her.
         She started to take off my shirt and then slowly reaching for my jeans until I was wearing nothing but my underwear, she took off my bra because she said I need a red one so it wasn't see through. So after all that I ended up feeling so turned on but I forgot she was just helping me so I came back to reality and started to try on different bras, we were the same size, we both had very small chest, so they all fitted easily, then she slipped the dress from bottom to top and I helped fitting it in, her movements were so slow and just magical, I couldn't believe I was feeling so attracted to this woman right now, did she know what was going on? Maybe not, maybe she was just a straight female who didn't get nervous around her naked friends. She started to zip the zipper up and it felt so sexy I just wanted to start making out but I knew that would of been a bad idea. "So what heels do you want to wear?" She interrupted my dirty thoughts and I didn't mind really because they were starting to scare me a little bit. "I'll wear the black ones" so I grabbed them and put them on, I helped her put on the black dress she was wearing and zipped it up, I couldn't believe that I was seeing her in nothing but underwear, damn what was wrong with me?, it happened before with those ads for lingerie but this time it was right in front of me in flesh, but what made her more attractive was her personality, her laugh, the way she talked, the way she looked at me and talked about random stuff. We finished changing and doing our makeup and left to go to the concert.
          We had such a good time there and drank a little bit for fun, the band was awesome and we ended up going to a bar like she had planned, she wanted to dance, and so did I so we went it we were so drunk that Emma was starting to be really touchy, and I liked it but I didn't know what I was doing half of the time because we were so drunk, we called an uber home and went to her apartment since it was closer and didn't have to go more up the stairs. We sat on the couch but then Emma started to pull me to go and have a sleepover, I was drunk so I accepted it, we both ended up passing out but before that I don't remember if she kissed me or not we were so  waisted I don't remember. I was still so confused as to why I felt like this, she could never correspond my feelings, she was straight, just a touchy female friend. Why did I have so many gay thoughts for a straight female friend. Was she really straight?