With You... Always

Saturday

I woke up in the hotel room, god my head was about to explode, then I realized that next to me was Emma, sleeping and her naked body was against mine and I forgot about my headache and tried to sleep more, but then I just decided to stare at her beautiful face and body while she slept, it was better than sleeping, I still had the headache but it wasn't as bad, she could cure anything with just being herself.
After about an hour of appreciating her beauty, she woke up, "Hi, good morning" I said "I love you, you know that?" She said with the cutest morning voice "Yes, and do you also know that I love you too?" I kissed her forehead and we laid there for about 30 minutes until we realized we were so hungry and we had a hangover, and desperately needed food, so we got dressed and went to the buffet the hotel offered and had breakfast there. Everything was going smoothly until she said she was going to the restroom, she went but while she was in there and I was sitting at our table I saw Robin sitting there, kissing someone else, I didn't feel jealous, I felt bad for her, but at the same time, she was way prettier and might not get bullied as much but I was scared Robin could see me and call me names because I'm with a woman and didn't tell him, but now I had an excuse to break up with him, tomorrow, at dinner but right now I better get going, so I stood outside the restroom waiting for Emma, "oh hello, what are you doing here?" "I thought we were leaving so I guess we better get going" I sounded nervous but I kind of covered it up with a smile,"Oh you're finished with your food?" "Yeah,plus the ride is long and tomorrow I have a dentist appointment at 4:00pm so I don't want to be late and stuff"
"Okay then let's go babe". We walked out of the restaurant and went to the hotel room, we showered, got changed and left to go home. We went to her apartment and unpacked almost everything that was left to unpack, then we went to my apartment and unpacked everything, I was nervous about telling her that we couldn't stay the night, because in the morning tomorrow I had to pack bags with something to wear to the restaurant with Robin.
"Hey babe you want to make dinner?"
"Uhh, maybe not today, maybe another day, it's already 10:00pm and I need to pick up some stuff really early, do some errands and go to the dentist that will probably take hours"
"Oh that's fine, then let's got to sleep tomorrow that we have a very busy day tomorrow!" She said excited, oh no, did she not get it?, I was going alone because this was all a lie. "Uhh babe, I'm going alone, it's really early and you wouldn't want to wait at the dentist so long and stuff so I preferred if only for tonight we sleep apart in our different apartments and when I come back then I'll call you and we can hang out together again"
I said kinda serious, I couldn't believe my lies were so stupid. "Oh okay then, after all I still have stuff to unpack" she looked disappointed and kinda mad and sad too. I hated seeing her like that, I wanted the best for her always. So we kissed goodbye and she left, after about 30 minutes I started to have a meltdown, I was throwing stuff everywhere, I felt so guilty and so bad and so I started crying , I love her so much, why did I lie to her? I hate myself, after having such a great time I couldn't believe that this was happening to me, her being apart from me felt weird and so I started hitting stuff with tears on my face.After all she's done for me I'm lying to her. Like Jonathan Davis said in his song Happiness "My happiness is never allowed" that was so true, it has never been able to flourish and I'm always stuck in some dark place where I just rather die. So I cried myself to sleep. And I also knew that tomorrow I wasn't going to be waking up next to her which made the situation even worst, I tried sleeping but all these thoughts where messing with me, how am I going to tell Robin? How?!?! I was so anxious, I wanted to hug Emma, just be with her and never let her go. But I wasn't sure that my lies and betrayal would let me do that.