Friendbroken

Freshman Year

As any 12 year old youngster in America, I was living my life stress free and going through my changes in my body, but that didn't stop me from living my life and being me. I had an okay summer. It wasn't one for the books, but it wasn't one for the dumpster either. 

Besides that, I had major anxiety about starting highschool. I knew absolutely no one. I had wen to a charter school for the past 9 years of my life and had a class of 60, which I adored. I was heartbroken when I left because it was as if I was saying goodbye to my actual family. 

Either way I'm over it and now I barely talk to any of those people except my close friends. Let's get back to the point. 

I knew no one and I wasn't exactly good looking or good at talking to people. Let's just say my first day was hell...along with the rest of the days of my freshman year. I was really sad because I hadn't found that group of friends that are my ride or die or anyone I instantly clicked with. 

To this day I still haven't found that group of friends. I haven't found that group of friends that ask you how you're feeling after you have asked them how they're feeling and you don't talk about them the whole time. That group of friends that invites you to places even though they know you can't go. That group of friends that will genuinely be nice people to others besides you. Basically, good human beings. 

I cried a lot. I felt so alone every single day. It was the worst time of my life, but I haven't lived very long so who knows what awaits. 

But then came this girl. 

We had a Christmas party in my math class and I was sitting with these two girls who looked like a couple, but one was too attached to the other and the other had no freedom to make any more friends. She was really friendly and talked to me and I've never met any one I clicked with that fast. It took a while to get to know each other, but eventually we became best friends. 

She introduced me to her group of friends which we all very friendly. the first couple of weeks I stood there awkwardly not saying anything along with an expression that showed so much sadness, but inside I felt the complete opposite. 

I felt nervous and I felt like a burden. I didn't think any of them wanted me there, but with time, I got to know every single one of them pretty well and now were all on good terms. 

Freshman year had mostly down times, but some ups highlighted it.