Yellow.
Yellow is a bad color. Bad bad color.
They taught me about yellow.
They forbid yellow.
Yet I misbehaved and somehow have yellow flowers.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Five yellow flowers locked away inside a drawer.
They made me forget.
They wanted to make me forget.
But I know now.
I know why I have the flowers.
I don't really know about what I did to get them or where I went.
They want to make me forget.
They want to make you forget.
They want to make everyone forget.
You can not disobey them.
You should not disobey them.
And that's why I keep it off.
The light.
The light is turned off. They think I'm crazy. They should think that. I guess they should.
There's a knock. Followed by a voice.
"Joseph. Prayer time."
I crawl up to my feet. My vision is blurry. Everything in here is. Every two days we come together and get told over and over what to do. All the time we get told what to do.
So I keep quiet.
We listen to Sacarver as he mentions something about light.
I'm not really listening.
My mind dwells off, like all the time, it's like there's nothing else on this earth I can think about.
My eyes are scanning the room, in the hope that I'm not actually crazy, that this is all a stupid thing that's not really happening and that it's just a dream and I'm about to wake up in my old bedroom, facing my keyboard, being able to just get up and make cereal, say hi to my mom and dad, get ready for school and just walk out the door for a simple, mostly boring day.
But this isn't a bad dream. It's far, far worse.
This is reality. I have no idea how it came so far, why I let it came so far, but I know that I'm here right now and someone just asked me something and now all the people in the room are silently staring at me, not even blinking. I can hardly breathe.
